Evan Vest, contributor
For this issue I really wanted to interview renowned psychedelic artist Alex Grey, but unfortunately my e-mails were never returned. I assume Alex is too busy at a farmers market or making a homebrew, something cool like that, so all is forgiven. The good news is that I took a phatty rip of some DMT off a bent Pepsi can and was able to talk face to face with one of Alex Grey’s famous works. I forget the name of it, but it’s that trippy looking one. The interview transcript is below:
Evan Vest: Woah, Thanks for having me here in you geometric house.
Alex Grey Painting: Not a problemo my dood.
EV: How long have you been a painting?
AGP: Man, maybe like 10 years or something, but also like forever, you feel me?
EV: Yeah, I totally do for some reason. What do you feel like are trying to tell the world?
AGP: Pretty much I just want people to look at me go, “Daaaaamn that shit is trippy as hell.”
EV: Really? I kinda figured there would be more to it than that.
AGP: Nah, brah, just straight trippin’.
EV: Well, alright then. How do I become more in touch with my chakras?
AGP: You just gotta stay woke, bruh. You have my lighter?
At this point I realized that I was talking to not a painting, but comedian Matt Redbeard. We then sparked up a phatty blunt and then hit up a corner store for some Orangina. I learned many things that night, the main lesson being to always smoke Deemsters from a glass pipe.