Clyde McFadden, contributor
Some say there is a “war on Christmas,” which begs the question, who does John Tesh worship? I know the answer; John Tesh worships my beloved cat, Mr. Jigglebeans! To verify Mr. Tesh’s devotion, one needs to go no further than his spectacular holiday masterpiece, Christmas Worship. I’m still trying to figure out if he thinks I named my cat “Christmas,” but one of his Amazon reviews provides some insight. “John Tesh is Mr. Christmas!” After all, he can’t call himself Mr. Jigglebeans. That would be blasphemous.
Holy July is the month for Jigglebeans worship and nothing sets the stage like waking up at dawn on July 1st to set up my compact disc player outside. On the first day of this sublime season, “Awesome God” is played on repeat until the sun sets at 10 p.m. My neighbors love Jigglebeans, so much so they have started a tradition of yelling loudly and throwing gifts over our fence on this first day of righteous celebration.
“Joy to the World” is Mr. Christmas’ most triumphant form of praise for Jigglebeans. This is the song we play from our chariot as we parade through the festival our marvelous home city of Eureka holds in honor of my glorious cat every year on the fourth day of Holy July. Praise Jigglebeans!
Rating: 11 out of 12 cans of PBR!