Kenny Rogers’ Guide to Poker

Keith D, contributor

Kenny Rogers here. This is my super system to winning at poker. In this book I will explain how you too can become a poker millionaire. If you’re gonna play the game, you gotta learn to play it right.

Know when to hold ‘em.

Not only the name of the most popular poker game, “Hold ‘em” is also the first thing you need to know about playing cards. Know when to do it.

Know when to fold ‘em.

Every gambler knows that the secret to surviving is knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep. Every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser.

Know when to walk away.

When you are done playing poker, walk away.

Know when to run.

Run away if they catch you dealing from the bottom of the deck.

Never count your money when you’re sitting at the table.

There’ll be time enough for counting when the dealing’s done.

You don’t have to fight to be a man.

Unless the three Gatlin boys take turns on your woman, then make sure to lock the door before you beat the shit out of them. Man, that song got pretty dark.

Lucille is a bitch.

She left her husband with 4 hungry children and a crop in the field. I didn’t even feel like having sex with her back in my hotel room.

Well that’s pretty much it; guess it wasn’t a book. Also, those last two have nothing to do with poker, but they were both great songs. Eat at Roasters!

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