Ladies, Look Twice at the Dog Catcher

Dog catchers get an unfair shake. They run around, literally catching animals with rabies so that they don’t bite you and they just aren’t receiving the respect they deserve. Why aren’t people marrying them?

Here is a breakdown of how women think about occupations and their animal occupation counterpart when they are talking with their drunk girlfriends at a bar;

Human Doctor = Rich guy, but no time for you.

Veterinarian = Wowee, marry him, and he probably has actual feelings or he’d be a human doctor.

Human Keeper (prison guard) = Eww, I bet he’s the gross kind of kinky.

Zoo Keeper (animal prison guard) = Awwwwww! How cute. And points because he’d let you pet stuff.

Human Store owner (Slave trader) = No, no no no no.

Pet store owner = How fun! Must be a soft-hearted guy who knows about fishtanks. You might get a super-complicated fishtank.

Human trainer = Ok, we can work with that, but he’s probably full of himself

Horse Trainer = nodar1

(that actual horse trainer is hysterical, you should follow him on instagram @jakenodar

Policeman = Will he be cool with how much pot you smoke? Or could he score me free weed!!?

Dog policeman (dog catcher) = NO WAY! He does this for a living. dogcatcher4

But in reality he saves animals and re-unites them with their owners, and sometimes saves you from rabies, as aforementioned. He is the one who has to remove the deer you hit from the highway. He is probably an extremely caring person. Give the dog catcher a chance.

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

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