Lando’s List

Tommy Lucero, contributor

Lando’s List is your go-to source for help wanted, for sale, personal, and community listings.

 

Wookiee Breeder:

No experience needed, just a strong grip on the desire to further the existence of a noble race of fur-laden folk. Willing to relocate a plus, willingness to follow through and finish tasks set before you even more of a plus, and quite frankly, a wise life choice. Just send a transmission with your interest and proof of protective eyewear. Only those with strong stomachs and a dull sense of smell need apply.

 

This SITH is for YOU:

Upbeat about the Dark side and the future of the Empire, seeking my dark Empress to begin our overtaking of the universe. Must love cats and scrapbooking.

 

Clone4Clone:

Looking for like-minded individual who thinks exactly like me in every way. Must have large distaste for intergalactic smugglers and a passion for the bounty that life has to offer.

 

Stormtroopers Wanted:

Ability to hit targets not required.

 

Aspiring Sith Lord Seeks Father Figure:

I’m looking for a mentor that won’t cut me off at the knees and offer encouraging words. Also must hate Sand People.

 

Wookiees In Need:

Guaauhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! R2D2 seeks BBFWB 4 PNP and DND/WOW

 

Jedi Seeks Counsel:

My young Padawan seems to be leaning towards the dark side and may be quite mental at that. I’m hoping someone can help as I’m already on Jedi probation for raising my voice when a elder referred to me as BenWah Ball instead of my actual name.

 

Psychic Readings available from Qui Gon Chleo done pro Bono BELIEF in The Force is all that’s required.

Send transmission to (930)555-AWKN

 

Uncle Owen’s Moisture Farm and Hydroponics!

All your hydration needs met! Plus specials on in-house harvest. Droid on site is fluent in over six million languages.

 

Endor’s Episcopalian All Ewok Choir

Holding auditions for annual Battle of Endor Pageant and Potluck. Make sure all effigies are in line with fire code.

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