Let’s Do This!

With the price of gas moving upwards it makes sense that you would want to go to an alternative fuel source. But let’s face it, those alternatives are kind of lame.


Electricity? No thanks. That shit is weak, plus that’s shit’s hella expensive, too.


Some hippie might try to tell you we should do something with weed. But a pound of weed is cheaper than a pound of dog hair. The problem? How am I supposed to smoke all of it if you’re dumping it into your gas tank?


So what is the solution?


Walking? Weak.


Bikes? Lame!


Teleportation? TOTALLY! That shit is awesome, plus you’ll get there hella quick, dude. That would solve all of our problems. All we need is a few smart science people to figure that shit out, and BOOM, we’re at Coachella in no time. All I’m asking is for all the science people to drop what they’re doing, for a little while, and figure this shit out for us. We don’t ask for much, and this would totally make up for the time you wasted on that dumbass Google whatever. We DON’’T need another E-Cig flavor or cure for nail fungus. We DO need some rad sci-fi thing. It’s 2014 and the coolest thing I’ve seen is a TV remote that looks like a Harry Potter’s wand.


Teleportation please. Do it.


About Matt Redbeard

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