Letter to the editor #05 (d)

WHAT IF HE CALLS AT 7 FROM THE TOP OF THE HILL? … WHAT WILL I SAY? … WHILE SWALLOWING THE BREAKUP OF MY OWN DOING GOES DOWN LIKE A SANDPAPERED SHOT OF LORD FUCKING CALVERT …

GET OFF THE MOUNTAIN AND COME BACK TO ME! (YEAH RIGHT) … I DON’T WANT YOUR BUD OR YOUR MONEY … JUST YOU. (RARE, I’M SURE) … WE LAUGHED THAT DAY ABOUT A GUY BUYING ME CAMMYS FOR MOTHER’S DAY … DIDN’T KNOW YOU’D BE SAVING ME A SPOT IN LINE AT PICKY PICKY … THAT MAG WAS HILARIOUS ABOUT THE GROWERS ’N’ STUFF — BUT WHAT IF YOU’RE JUST A REGULAR CHICK THAT HAPPENS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE? I FEAR THAT SLIVER OF SPACE TO BE HARDLY WIDE ENOUGH FOR EVEN LIGHT TO SHINE THRU … FROM BOYFRIEND TO PART-TIME BOYFRIEND TO PARTY-TIME BOYFRIEND …

IT’S THE WEEKLY BITTERSWEET HOMECOMING, BUT IT’S BETTER THAN NOTHING, RIGHT? SO … PLASTER ON THAT SMILE, MAMA, AND DON’T BRING UP REALITIES … JUST HOLD IT IN, AND GIVE HIM THE STANDARD BLOWJOB SEND-OFF CUZ TOMORROW HE’S GONE … AGAIN. NOT SO SURE WHEN THE BOOZE AND THE BLUES STARTED TAKING YOUR PLACE … WISH I WAS CUT OUT FOR THIS … HATS OFF TO THE ONES THAT ARE! YOU SEE … THEY GET TO KEEP THEIR MAN … ME?

STILL HERE TRYING TO SWALLOW WHILE PRETENDING HE’S GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN CALL ME AT 7 FROM THE TOP OF THE HILL …

WRITTEN BY: JUST A GIRL

Dear Girl,

You should really consider being more of a sassy bitch. Then your “kinda boyfriend” will probably want to marry you. While you will still be constantly frustrated with him, you will get to see him more often as you will be the queen of his house in town. You will have his children and have access to his box- o-cash (you may say you don’t care about his money, but it’s a bonus). You won’t even have to give him blowjobs anymore. So, get some balls and achieve your dreams.

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