Letter of Warning from the King in Outer Space

M.Bunny, contributor

Here is a letter I found while walking near the Grove of Titans with my dog two weeks ago. Can anyone tell me what this says? I had an expert read this, and she informed me that this letter is surely from a King or Ruler, from Outer Space, and is without a doubt a warning letter for humans from the folks in Outer Space.

*Read at your own risk, this shit is kind of scary*


Dear Humans,

You’ve all been warned by us here in the depths of outer space. Take heed and watch your ass as we approach the next year. Being that you’ve elected DshitheadTrump as your puppetmaster we have decided to end all war between men. There will be a new leader among you, and her name is Equiptamental!

Even if you have hope you will pay the price of life by death of fire. We are not sorry as we are not responsible for the actions that have lead to this decision; you as shitcake humans have fucked yourselves this time. Spacecraft await and are headed your way as my extraterrestrial hands type this letter of warning. It’s a shame that it had to end this way and as most of the shitty Instagram and Facebook users are saying, sorry not sorry. If you think that you have weapons of mass destruction just until you feast your eyes on what we have for you!


King LexadorianY


P.S. WE are everywhere and the wormhole theory is totally correct. M. Bunny is the man and will be one of the only humans left to live on the planet earth once it’s destroyed next yearish. All of this could have been avoided if your president didn’t hate aliens. What’s “illegal,” anyway?

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