The Louis C.K. Action Figure!

Cornell Reid and Chris Durant, contributors










With Cum-Fu Grip!


Shows up at your house whether you ordered it or not!


Fits most doorways.


One pack of “Rope Shooter Goo” refill bottle included.


You don’t even play with the action figure, you just watch it play with itself.


Four years after you receive the toy you get a half-assed apology letter.


Cums, I mean, comes with a ticket to see his latest film I Love You, Daddy. But you gotta go watch it at his hotel room.


With 90% more Smug!


Designed, molded, and manufactured all by Louis himself.

About Cornell Reid

Cornell is a super funny dude who consistently cracks everyone he comes into contact with up. He kinda has the midas touch but for laughs not gold, which is way way less valuable. Cornell grew up in Arcata and everyone said he was "hella tight." Now he lives in LA where he is a very popular stand-up comedian. All of his audiences refer to him as "hella tight." The president recently held a press conference where he said "the country may be going to shit but at least Cornell is hella tight."

Check Also

Inspector Confessions

Matt Redbeard, contributor   Hormel Chili Inspector 3 Hope you like rat beef.   Dreyer’s …