You might be a…#2

The cease and desist order from Jeff Foxworthy still hasn’t popped up in our P.O. Box, so we’re at it again. In this issue we take on those homeless-by-choice types that come through the area thinking marijuana just grows on trees: The trustafarians. They’re living off their parents’ success, sometimes under the guise of being a student at Humboldt State or College of the Redwoods and sometimes claiming to be an artist of some sort. Either way, their bills are paid, they’re white with dreadlocks and they are the ones from whom you can usually score some coke.

trustafarian if…

You might be a trustafarian if you’ve ever asked for organic coffee at Starbucks.

You might be a trustafarian if your yoga class has a cigarette break.

You might be a trustafarian if you’ve ever driven more than 100 miles to protest a war you believed was fought over oil.

You might be a trustafarian if you really hate Kevin Hoover, but you’re not exactly sure why you’re supposed to.

You might be a trustafarian if you don’t think your new MINI Airstream disqualifies you from being a lot kid.

You might be a trustafarian if someone says they like your dreads and you give him your stylist’s card.

You might be a trustafarian if the dashboard of your Beamer is covered in driftwood and feathers.

You might be a trustafarian if the fact that you suck at growing weed doesn’t make you get better.

You might be a trustafarian if your hemp necklace is gold plated.

You might be a trustafarian if the bong smoke makes it hard to see inside the house your parents bought for you to live in while you attend HSU.

You might be a trustafarian if you have ever flown anywhere to see a reggae band.

You might be a trustafarian if Inner Circle played at your Bar mitzvah.

You might be a trustafarian if you pay your drum circle to jam with you.

You might be a trustafarian if you have a $700 papered red-nose named Nesta.

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