You might be uh… Harvest Issue #1

OK, you asked for them back and here they are…The Foxworthy ripoff, uh, I mean inspired, “You might be a….” Please enjoy.

new to Humboldt County if…

You might be new to Humboldt County if you still pay $50 for and eighth of weed.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you have a tan.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you think pot is cool.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you’re still looking for the In & Out.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you still notice the perpetual mildew smell.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you Google “houseboat rental, spring break, Blue Lake.”

You might be new to Humboldt County if you think going out to “shoot three-pointers” refers to basketball.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you’re the only one at the tractor pull who’s wearing a trucker cap “ironically.”

You might be new to Humboldt County if you think the phrase “take a dip” refers to going swimming.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you think any of the motels on Broadway in Eureka are actually meant for tourists.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you get your windows measured for all these popular Redwood Curtains you’re always hearing everyone talk about.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you’ve never seen art by Duane Flatmo.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you consider Sierra Nevada Pale Ale to be an obscure micro-brew.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you still pronounce our neighboring county to the North Del Nort-A.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you’re still trying to figure out how all these fucking roundabouts work.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you haven’t yet filed a complaint against Humboldt Property Management.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you think those new dorms out in front of HSU is actually a La Quinta Inn.

You might be new to Humboldt County if you’re still afraid to drive on the left side of G and H street in Arcata.

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