You might be a…

So this blatant Jeff Foxworthy rip-off looks likes it’s going to be regular thing in Savage Henry. So sit back, relax and make sure you don’t get resin from your fingertips on the pages. People might get the wrong idea if they grab the issue and find pages stuck together.

this issue it’s Grow-Hos.

You might be a grow-ho if your boyfriend bought your Forester with cash.

You might be a grow-ho if your nickname is Samba Scissors.

You might be a grow-ho if you take October through November off work for “family leave.”

You might be a grow-ho if people frequently drop totes on your back porch.

You might be a grow-ho if you buy totes in bulk.

You might be a grow-ho if you apply for workers comp claim for the carpal tunnel you got from Fiskar-fingers.

You might be a grow-ho if you know the Fiskars help line phone number by heart.

You might be a grow-ho if you have a running account at area “boutiques.”

You might be a grow-ho if you open an area “boutique.”

You might be a grow-ho if you go get your Scuba certification in September for your vacation in December.

You might be a grow-ho if your 4-year-old wears Danskos.

You might be a grow-ho if your house has six rooms but all four of your kids sleep in the same room.

You might be a grow-ho if Kevin Hoover has shown up at your house unannounced.

You might be a grow-ho if the clerk at Ray’s in Willow Creek knows your first name.

You might be a grow-ho if your only job tasks include getting beers and rubbing alcohol.

You might be a grow-ho if you’ve applied for permits for a roadside stand near Willow Creek or Redway specializing in Fiskars, rubbing alcohol, turkey bags, kettle chips and Tecate.

You might be a grow-ho if you buy turkey bags in bulk but you are a vegan.

You might be a grow-ho if your Moon Pads have your initials on them.

You might be a grow-ho, check yourself.

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