Mmm, Sex – Op-Ed

(Editor’s note: every so often, we let one of our editors speak his [or her!] mind in our hallowed pages. This month, it’s the trusted opinion of our Man of Letters, Zack Newkirk)

Oh yeah, baby. You guys like the sex? Yeah, me too. So good!

I have two kids, so I have to have had sex at least twice, right, you guys?

I love when the sex happens. You do that thing, then the baby comes out? You guys know? Ha ha.

You’ve got to look out for the diseases, though. Keep some wipes nearby, and also some rubbing alcohol, and some bleach. Am I right, you sex guys?

Marriage is for sex, and when it happens … wow, baby! Ha ha, you know what I’m saying, guys? Then when the babies come out, and there’s the alcohol and the wipes, the diseases, the kids … sex, the kids … the disease wipes. You guys know?

I got the marriage, and then I had so many sex, which caused at least two kids, and who knows, maybe more, you guys? I got the tattoos that show how much the sex, and it’s a lot, so much, hey, yeah?

Sex kids disease wipes moves feels married thrust crime, though, huh? Ape meth fraternity coldplay?

Wow! Oh feel so good now! Sex is for a willing couple, though, you guys, so no rape, ok?

About Zack Newkirk


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