Music Review: Pitchfork Herpes “Sven’s Garden”

Pitchfork Herpes formed in 1987 in rural Connecticut. Their reputation as hard partying, outlaw country rebels has always overshadowed what little musical talent they possess. Nowhere is this more evident than on their fifth LP, “Sven’s Garden.”

Lead guitarist and main songwriter Sven Torgerson’s vocals sound as if he’s been up for three days on
a whiskey and Marlboro binge. “My Sheep Rides Shotgun” is particularly awful, with Torgerson’s garbled vocal delivery accompanied by what sounds like a barely tuned banjo and an endlessly repetitive guitar lick. On “Tractor Testicles,” Sven’s attempt at mimicking Hank Williams fails miserably.  The only redeeming factor is PH’s lyrical content which describes an intriguingly outlaw lifestyle full of cheap booze, hard drugs and often bizarre sexual trysts including bestiality.

“Sven’s Garden” is the musical equivalent of a huge stinking pile of dogshit baking in the afternoon sun. By the fourth listen I was ready to stab myself in the ear with Sven’s Pitchfork, just so I would never have to hear this again!

Rating: 2 out of 12 cans of PBR!!! 

About Ben Allen

Our music editor Ben Allen was born one stormy evening in a quaint Northern California coastal village. Upon birth he was immediately exposed to the soothing analog sounds of artists such as Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles, Paul Simon, Captain Beefheart and Santana. As the lad grew, so did his appreciation for an assortment of abrasive hard rock. A pubescent flirtation with butt metal was shattered in the early 1990’s by exposure to Nirvana and other so-called “Alternative” bands. While in college, our protagonist became a DJ on a local station, and began work as a freelance music journalist. During this period he became entranced with artists such as Tortoise, Slint, Modest Mouse, Guided By Voices and Pavement. Currently Allen resides in Arcata, CA where he continues to obsess and salivate over new recordings by his favorite artists. He works with music industry people to ensure that Savage Henry’s contributors receive music and other promotional materials. He also writes a silly monthly list titled “Ben’s 10.”

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