My Sister Sees The Dead and I’m Afraid of Dying

Andrea (Hypochandrea) Bartunek, contributor

I have never seen a ghost and I’m not sure if I want to. I have definitely felt a ghost, or maybe that was some weird sleep disorder. I’m not sure, but I’m a hypochondriac, so I’ll go with the latter. I guess I’m not open to it enough to see a ghost, or maybe it’s some weird psychological disease, but who knows. Again, a hypochondriac, so going with the latter. I think I might have seen the ghost of my cat, Bootsy.

But enough about me. Apparently my sister, Linda, has seen ghosts and sees ghosts and has been bothered by ghosts. She told me she tells them to shut up.

We went on a family vacation to Italy and stayed in probably the oldest hotel in Rome. Linda and I were walking down the hallway of the 3rd floor when she stopped and turned around. “What are you doing?” I asked and she shushed me up and said “I think I saw an old man ghost. This place is haunted”  And haunted it was. Linda and I shared a room and I got super cold and the chills that night when I was trying to go sleep. I guess that happens when ghosts are around. Or again, as a hypochondriac, I could have had a mini-stroke or something. In the morning she told me it was that old man ghost. What a creep. Just a dead old Italian pervert running through the halls. Great hospitality. I do believe my sister as much as I joke about it. She said that ghosts do legitimately bother her when she is trying to go to sleep. I wonder how much that old man bothered her.

I can see how that hotel could be haunted, and I believe it. I’m sure my childhood home is haunted. A bunch of foster kids lived there before us and it’s old. I bet those kids hardcore messed with my sister. That’s probably why Linda was annoyed by so many ghosts in our house. It’s okay. She would just yell at them, “GET AWAY FROM ME.” Linda would hit a ghost if she needed to (and if it’s even possible). I’m not sure exactly what I would do if confronted by an annoying ghost. I don’t know what to do when I’m confronted by an annoying actual person. My sister once told me, “You need to learn how to hit people.” I don’t hit people but I’d hit a ghost if it’s possible. I’m glad my sister was born with this “gift” and not me. I’ll take the hypochondria over interacting with the deceased.

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