New Clippers Owners – The Short List

Now that Donald Sterling has been forced by the NBA to sell the Los Angeles Clippers over racist comments his crazy-looking girlfriend taped him saying, people are coming out of the woodwork to buy the team. Here’s the short list:


Louis Farrakhan:
It’s going to be hard for the players to play in bowties.


David Duke:
Out of the frying pan and onto the burning cross.

michael richards1

Michael Richards:
He’d introduce the team every night at the Staples Center. “He’s a (n-word)! He’s a (n-word)! He’s a (n-word)!” Even JJ Redick and Hedo Turkglu.


John Rocker:
He’d try to move the team to Atlanta and install a new position on the court… The Closer.


Phil Robertson: The turnovers on the team would break records, because the players wouldn’t be able to see each other with the camo uniforms and all.



Cornel West:
Would want to change the name of the team to the Comrades.

13521557_ori Public Enemy:
In a move meant to empower his race and show strong unity, Chuck D would even step in as head coach, but they’d always lose to technical fouls because Flavor Flav would always run out on the court.


About Chris Durant

Chris Durant has worked at not working for decades. He's the publisher of Savage Henry Magazine.

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