New Names for Stuff

Zeke Herrera, staff

 

I don’t know about you guys but I’m sick of all these goddamn words. How am I supposed to remember all of them? I’ve decided that I never will. So here’s some stuff I renamed to help me out. Feel free to let me know which ones you like and we’ll get a petition started to get ’em legally changed.

 

Diarrhea: Butt Barf

 

Camping: Cosplay Poor

 

People Who Wear Cargo Shorts: Pocket Pussies

 

Avocados: Guacamole Pears

 

Sports: Excuse to Yell and Drink

 

Milk: Diet Chocolate Milk

 

Orphans: Potential Superheroes

 

Delivery Drivers: Literally Better than Jesus

 

Birthdays: Your Mom’s Ruined Pussy Day

 

Detectives: Super Snitches

 

Calzone: Mysterious Pizza

 

Zoo: Better Have a Tiger

 

Tigers: The Entire Reason Zoos Exist

 

Torpedoes: Aquamissiles

 

Feet: Bad Leg Hands

 

Guns: Problem Solvers

 

Buckets: Men’s Shot Glass

 

Women: Bleeders

 

Confederate Flag: The Real Flag

 

Black People: JK, This isn’t going to go in that direction

 

This Article: Anticlimactic

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