New Names for Stuff

Zeke Herrera, staff


I don’t know about you guys but I’m sick of all these goddamn words. How am I supposed to remember all of them? I’ve decided that I never will. So here’s some stuff I renamed to help me out. Feel free to let me know which ones you like and we’ll get a petition started to get ’em legally changed.


Diarrhea: Butt Barf


Camping: Cosplay Poor


People Who Wear Cargo Shorts: Pocket Pussies


Avocados: Guacamole Pears


Sports: Excuse to Yell and Drink


Milk: Diet Chocolate Milk


Orphans: Potential Superheroes


Delivery Drivers: Literally Better than Jesus


Birthdays: Your Mom’s Ruined Pussy Day


Detectives: Super Snitches


Calzone: Mysterious Pizza


Zoo: Better Have a Tiger


Tigers: The Entire Reason Zoos Exist


Torpedoes: Aquamissiles


Feet: Bad Leg Hands


Guns: Problem Solvers


Buckets: Men’s Shot Glass


Women: Bleeders


Confederate Flag: The Real Flag


Black People: JK, This isn’t going to go in that direction


This Article: Anticlimactic

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