Art by Nuno Amaral
Ever wondered what kind of superhero comics people read in Old Timey Times? Sure there was Batman and Superman, but that was certainly not all the world of comics had to offer.
One Ton Pinkerton –Daniel McMasterson has always been a big boy, but after a phosphorous accident in the local match factory, he embiggened himself into the One Ton Pinkerton. Using his powers for businesses everywhere, he hefts his girth to bust unions and other red sympathizers.
Susan Bee Anthony – Truly suffraging for the cause, Susan has forsaken any secret identity to pollinate her passions of voting rights and temperance. Don’t try to ferment her honey, evildoers; this queen can sting!
The Rockafella – While this brawny gent of stone may look rough and tumble, his true power lies in his checkbook. Eschewing any sort of physical conflice, Rockafella uses the power of philanthropy to thwart the poor’s silly notions of “income disparity” and “anti-trust lawsuits.” Coincidentally, he is also very good at Monopoly.
Beaver Cleaver – This young rascal guffawed at his traditional nuclear family upbringing in favor of wearing beaver pelts and swinging kitchen cutlery. After escaping from a reform school for boys, the Cleaver decided to dole out justice to every Ozzie and Harriet he could find. A true antihero of the Silver Age!
Der Kaiser Roll – Rolfe Von Brotmeister was a humble baker in Mechanicsburg before a horrible baking accident involving a flour sifter turned him into Der Kaiser Roll!