Ensign Cornelius Smith, contributor
Hi Captain Picard. How’s it going?
I was just dropping a line to see if it was at all possible to switch my uniform color from red to any other color.
Rest assured, it’s not a vanity thing at all, more of a self preservation thing.
You see, I’ve noticed that when a lot of my shipmates who also wear red shirts go on an away team, well, how should I put this? Well, they don’t come back.
I’m sure it’s just a coincidence and all, but my grandma was half Ferengi and we all know how superstitious they can be. I guess her superstitious streak lives on in me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with being on an away team, I did join Starfleet to see new and exciting places, but it seems we’ve been on a streak of bad luck lately with ensigns dying when they’re on these new and exciting planets. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think they were all wearing red shirts. I know you yourself have a red shirt, well more of a dark maroon, but you don’t seem to be having any problems down there.
So if it’s cool with you I’d like to formally request a blue uniform or maybe one of them dope-ass yellowish gold ones that Lt. Worf wears.
Thanks for your time,