Fun in the Sun.

Poolside History

History is full of great inventions that started as terrible ideas. We here at Savage Henry have taken a break from our normal summer activities (drinking heavily in kiddie pools and shouting obscenities at the sun). We have scoured the many texts and scrolls of pool time history. In those pool time writings we have discovered the secret history behind some of the summertime’s greatest toys.

The Slip and Slide: This classic summer time favorite has been a back yard staple for years. However this toy was the drug addled brain child of original super freak Rick James. On a hot day in 1983, Rick James discovered that sliding down tarp into a pool was a great way to beat the heat. Especially while high of your ass on cocaine. He dubbed it the James long hot wet pleasure slide. That name was later changed to the slip and slide and continues to be enjoyed today.

The Classic Beach Ball: The Beach Ball was originally developed by the U.S government in 1940. Code named Freedom Ball and costing 100 billion dollars in research and development. It was originally developed to fight the Axis forces. It was later abandoned when it became painfully clear that bullets worked better than colorful inflatable balls.

The Inner Tube: The Inner Tube’s history and creation are shrouded in mystery. Legend has it the Inner Tube was created by Theodore Roosevelt. In a drunken stupor he tossed a tire at a group of beavers and history was made.

Inflatable Pool Alligator: Nothing says fun poolside afternoon like an inflatable alligator. It was originally invented by a Tampa millionaire. It was first called the sex gator. It was intended to be less dangerous way to engage in some reptilian coitus. It was later made inflatable because who wants to have land sex with a fake alligator? After many arrest across the country and a series of Jose Conseco led PSA’s, people stopped having sex with the inflatable gator. Now it has become and continues to be wholesome and fun pool toy.

Fun Noodle aka Pool Noodle: The pool noodle can be found in almost every pool across the country. The first pool noodle was another invention of recording artist Rick James. No one is sure why, how or under what circumstances it was created. One thing is for sure, floating on a fun noodle, high off your ass on cocaine and shouting obscenities at prostitutes is a great way to spend a summer.

About Josh Argyle

Josh Argyle is a Stand-up comedian and writer. He is the San Francisco bureau chief of Savage Henry Independent Times and contributing writer. He is a co-producer of the S.H.I.Ts and giggles comedy festival in Arcata California. You can check out Joshs website josh-argyle.com for videos and show dates. Are you still reading this? Jesus we are in a recession, go out and invent some shit.

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