Scott M., contributor
Hello everyone! I’m gonna go by Scott M. for the this new cannabis product review column for Savage Henry cause… weed, you know? I do a lot of weed. I smoke it, vape it, eat it, dab it, rub it, drink it… I’ll even put it in my butt.
Enough about me, onto the first installment of Reefiew Madness!
I reviewed these goods while seeing the new Star Wars and dealing with the holidays.
Temple Extracts – Vape Pen
This was the perfect tool to use while seeing Episode VII on opening night. I didn’t hit it while in the theater; you guys don’t know me yet, but I ain’t about that. It was perfect for hits in the parking lot without attracting all kinds of attention by hotboxing your Tercel. And the oil is clean and tasty. You can tell right off the bat. And the cartridges are huge. I can hit that pen everyday from now until May 16, 2017 (when Episode VIII hits the theaters) and still have some. Simply put, the Force is strong with Temple Extracts.
Swerve Confections – Buzz Bar
I had a 10-hour drive ahead of me in shitty weather. I bit off half of the Buzz Bar and by the end of the trip I wasn’t achy, grumpy, or passing out behind the wheel. I was focused, relaxed, and positive. That’s pretty much what the package says. I actually thought about what it might be like to live in Oroville, California and how much rent was as I drove by the town. That’s how powerful these things are. I have to note, I do not advocate or recommend driving after medicating. Swerve, I did not, but they sure did! They did the Kessel Run in 10 Parsecs. Great stuff.
High Caliber Extracts – Zkittles Shatter
The taste intrigues me, it’s outstanding. Some shatter and dabs and wax and booger and whatever else is the new way tastes like Dow made it or something. Very refined… in the oil way, not the classy way. By using my new dab pen from Jack’s Extracts, I was able to “go check the mail” a few times while the in-laws were in town for the holidays. I came back ready to hear to the story of my father-in-law’s hernia he got while golfing in a barbecue contest at a Biker’s Against Child Abuse rally for the 100th time. I sure tasted the brainbow with the Zkittles.
Honeysuckle Lotus – Tangerine Supreme
A rosin that’s a dab that’s not a dab, but gets you higher than a dab because it’s the best dab. Rosin is results of a solventless extraction process. So naturally, it sounds cleaner. It also tastes cleaner. The texture is the pretty much the same but the color, at least with the Honeysuckle Lotus sample, was more green and felt like smoking real weed.
Apparently they were giving these out at the Emerald Cup for free as samples and maybe that’s what accounts for the weakness. I’m sure that’s what it is. They taste good and are easy to eat, but after 90 minutes or so nothing was really happening. You can eat the labels though… I think. I hope.
Stokes Confections Milk Chocolate Caramel
Popped this in my mouth one morning and before I knew it it was like the in-laws weren’t even in my house. Another mellow edible, with definitely noticed effects. I like the new “legal” “regulated” edibles. They’re taking that “you’ll end up fetal under a hotel bed” stigma away from edibles. This chocolate caramel set a nice tone for the day and really really really helped me get in the holiday spirit.
Kiva Terra Bite Blueberry and Milk Chocolate
A nice bite sized chocolate drop with a strong blueberry flavor. Another great concoction for being on the run. And again, pretty mellow, but I only had one drop. But like I said up top, I have a very high tolerance level. All of you should definitely stick to recommended dosage amounts.
If you’d like to suggest or send something to reefiew, get a hold of email@example.com.