Rejected Ben and Jerry’s Flavors

You know, this issue is really for the kids. And we know what kids love: ICE CREAM! And who makes the most fun flavors? BEN AND JERRY! These ones didn’t make the cut, however.

Chunky Dahmer – Packed full of mystery meat… well, you know what it is. At least one toenail in every 30 pints GUARANTEED.

Syringe Sorbet – Low in calories and high in opiates. Enjoy with good friends on train tracks or maybe under a bridge. Is he nodding or just noshing?

Monica’s Brownie – For those who know, you may not remember, but you know.

Fish Phood – A rainbow of flakey flavors just for you. Actual fish food in this one. Good to the last BLOP.

Jerry Garcia – Ain’t no cherries in this one. It’s 100% Jerry. Limited supply, but not that limited because he was fat.

Cinnamon Hooker Dough – Straight from Cinnamon herself. So good you’ll be like “Bitch ! Where’s my ice cream?!?!??”

Absolute Fat-Ass – Chubby Hubby? Well this guy’s not married. He ate this and he’s alone and sad.

Meth chocolate chip – Couple bites of this and your garage will never be cleaner.

King’s Kiss – A pint of ice cream flavored naturally by Larry King’s saliva? Sign me up Cancelled in test group phase of production.

CareBear- Really it just tastes like any bear. Meaty.


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