Andrea Bartunek, contributor
Let’s say it’s 2 am and you’re watching Nick at Nite after indulging in some inebriating substances. An episode of Full House comes on. You want all the outfits. You also want to touch Uncle Jesse’s hair. You want Kimmy’s scrunchie. You want DJ’s oversized sweater. You want to do the running man. This sends you into a spiral of 90s fashion dreams. Have you caught yourself being so jealous of Michelle Tanner’s floral bike shorts? What about Blossom’s sunflower hat? Don’t forget how much you really wanted those acid-washed mom jeans that belonged to Clarissa’s mother. You always wanted Zach Morris’ flannel. You’ve been secretly pining after Hilary from Fresh Prince’s outfits for years. Do you own a cardigan like Carlton? Where are your MC Hammer pants?
90s television has made a comeback and so have the outfits. And guess what: you can get them! Just google floral bike shorts with lace or crop top with shorteralls (overall shorts). This is 90s TV-inspired late night online shopping. But don’t get too out of control. Don’t get JNCO jeans. Don’t start tying your sweatshirt around your waist. Don’t part your hair down the middle. Please, no frosted tips. Doug and Daria always wore the same outfit and now you think you can too. But are you a cartoon character? No? Oh, then you should change once in a while. Now that you’ve done all the online shopping inspired by 90s sitcoms you have a ton of different outfits. Google will always be there when you need to know where to find Screech’s printed baggy pants or Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s crushed velvet halter top. Do you want Topanga’s high waisted denim skirt? Google it!
Listen, the 90s are back, they’ve been back, and they’re never going away. So throw on that ripped Bowie shirt and some cut offs; just please don’t put on a vest or make your own bellbottoms.