The Rest of the New Star Wars Cast

A couple weeks ago JJ Abrams announced the main cast for Star Wars: Episode VII, Return of the Whateverthefuck.

Not only are Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, and Harrison Ford returning as their characters from the original trilogy, there a whole array of fringe Hollywood new names as characters yet to be revealed. We got our hands on the second tier roster of actors and their characters. Take a took!

rob-ford-crackRob Ford as Robba the Hutt:
A spice-smoking politician of the Hutt race on the Hutt homeworld, Nal Hutta.

Screen_Shot_2013-02-14_at_10.18.32_AM_large_verge_medium_landscapePeter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister:
Not sure what the connection is to Game of Thrones, but Dinklage is slated to play the same role as his character in the HBO series.

il_340x270.549357535_essdVladimir Putin as Darth Vlad:
A power hungry ruler of a planet that annexes other smaller nearby planets not giving two fucks what the rest of the universe thinks…Oh, wait, sorry, I got my headlines mixed up there.

564450_503988089630755_1763160142_nMark Hamill’s Agent as Himself: 
He constantly kisses the feet of JJ Abrams because he hasn’t worked since 1982.

john-singleton-directing-tupac-biopicTupac Shakur as Boba Fett: 
It will finally be revealed when Lando tricks Boba Fett into taking off his helmet when he asks “Who put that sticker on there?”






About Chris Durant

Chris Durant has worked at not working for decades. He's the publisher of Savage Henry Magazine.

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