Restaurant Review: Alice’s Steak and Sushi

When Blue Lake Casino opened, they must not have foreseen the amount of damage that one group of friends could do to a buffet — not just any buffet, but the Friday night all-you-can- eat seafood buffet

For some reason, we had dubbed it “FuDuckDu” and, like clockwork, a dozen of us would storm in with a phone book’s worth of 10-percent-off buffet coupons, take over the bar and fill entire plates with crab and lemon wedges. I didn’t even use a crab cracker; just my teeth. I took a date once and he was so disgusted by us that he didn’t call me back. We were young, drunk and disgusting. I think the crab shell shrapnel and the mess we created was also responsible for the discontinuation of seafood night. They wouldn’t have let us near this new place.

If you haven’t already been informed, the once two-and-a- half-star buffet known as Alice’s has taken a shower and put a bow tie on. Like a friend who got rich too fast, the Japanese art is most likely very authentic … but downright ugly. The lights and fixtures are nice-looking. I guess that adds to the ambiance of a place, though that hardly
matters when you’re seated right next to the kitchen. I understand; I had two small children in tow. Bullshit. I was pissed.

They are doing a Ruth’s Chris Steak House thing, where a $20 steak comes on a small plate instead of dinner-plate-style. And even though I was staring at the kitchen entrance, it didn’t take away from the fact that this petite fillet tasted how a blowjob must feel. It was freaking fantastic. The sushi was comparably fantastic — more on the skimpy side than our better-known Humboldt sushi staples. Also more traditional.

Also, because it’s a casino, the waitress didn’t bat an eye when I asked for two beers at once. A small victory.

Take a date. Its fancified. Don’t take kids. The whole “must let kids in because of the hotel” thing is just a code to follow. They really aren’t used to it. And kids will eat cat food. No reason to waste a $20 fillet.*

*Just because kids will eat cat food doesn’t mean you should feed it to them. Real food is actually much less expensive.

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

Check Also

Album Review: Eating Club “Eating Club”

Sam Greenspan, contributor The self-titled album from Alex Bortnichak, or Eating Club, is truly a dynamic …