Restaurant Review: Burger Central: You won’t believe how good this gas station burger is

“The cheeseburger” as art isn’t a new concept. People have been adding fried eggs and other crap to burgers and calling it art since the first patty was pounded into a flat circle. Or a square if you are Wendy (true fact: Wendy was an idiot).

If you get too far off-track with weird ingredients or use donuts as buns you alienate regular Americans… burger-eating Americans. Can we all agree that McKinleyville, Ca is filled with regular Americans? Yes? Good. Can we agree that adding weird stuff isn’t always art? Sometimes art is doing something regular really, really well. And sometimes art is done in gas stations.

Burger Central, though, located in the Chevron on Central Ave, makes a burger that angels weep over (because baby Jesus asks that they maintain a vegan diet).

Humboldt grass fed cows brag to other cows that they get to be turned into Burger Central burgers. The staff even asks you how you’d like your patty cooked. I go with medium because we can’t all be wild.

This paragraph is dedicated to the bun. THE BUNS ON THESE THINGS! Kris Jenner couldn’t have birthed buns this awesome. I wish I knew the story behind these damn buns but I don’t. Nice reporting. The point is that these buns make this burger. They are way beyond the sesame seeded bores that usually flank a beef patty.

It will take what seems like forever. That is a fact. You have Flappy Bird on your phone, though. Not anymore? Shoot. The wait is 100% worth it.

Here is a tip: If you are taking your burger to go, have them stack it sideways (think In n Out) because these puppies are juicy in the best sort of way and you probably don’t want that in your glorious bun.

Faaaaaantastic. These burgers deserve a 7 a – fantastic. Don’t let the gas station fool you. These are not 7-11 burgs.

Also, Chinese scientists (burgerologists?) have discovered that the best way to hold a burger is with your pinkies under the bun. This will stop stuff from squishing out the back.

Burger Central
1693 Central Ave
10am -9pm

5 out of 5  ketchup packets  

 

 

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

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