Restaurant Review: My Kitchen

Gaining weight like a man when you’re a man is manly. Gaining weight like a man when you are a short 30-year-old woman is depressing. My tramp stamp was frowning.That’s no good. So I cut out the sugar and saved my ass from being swallowed by my muffin top.

I have uttered the phrase “I’d rather be dead than live without bread and beer.” If I was smart, I’d switch bread and beer around for the rhyme and make it a family motto, but I’m not. Also, now I’m kinda living without bread and beer. But not completely. Saturday I eat whatever the fudge I want.

SUCK IT, NAYSAYERS. Better late to the looking good naked party than never.

People who talk about their diets are annoying. I know.

The decor of the kitchen is cabin chic. the menu, Carb-less. The owner, hot. I feel like she was fat before and now she’s skinny. Kudos to her. It was a seat yourself situation and the special was walnut encrusted salmon, roasted zucchini parmesan and spinach. An adorable blonde girl came in with fresh spinach leaves and set them on the counter. Quaint.

The wine selection was of the fancy-box variety. It’s not a complete oxymoron any more.

Slow carb diet gets 8 out of 10 walnuts. Because it’s hard to eat in restaurants. But I’m skinny and not hungry anyway.

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

Check Also

The Best Way to Stay Anonymous at Your Next Craigslist Orgy

Cornell Reid, staff   Sometimes when you’re perusing craigslist you accidentally end up RSVPing to …