ROAD RaGE ~ “CROsSwalk cavorting”

The Angry Driver, Contributor

Even though people regularly get killed while crossing the street, pedestrians still love to fuck with us drivers.

You gaytards get a boner from making cars lock up their brakes as you walk right out with no warning and then take your sweet fucking time strolling across. I for one am about ready to just plow through one of you jackasses because “She walked right out into traffic. There was nothing I could do” is a viable legal defense.

The friggin’ awesome part is that I would probably win. The law is not on your side if you just walk right out in front of oncoming cars, shit-for- brains. You pedestrians have a sense of entitlement to the roadway, expecting people to stop no matter what. So fuck you.

Countless times, I’ve nearly killed someone who decided to walk into a busy street. This is not only a really, really dumbfuck stupid stunt to pull, but is also about as dumbfuck stupid as the look on your face when it’s plastered against my windshield after I take you out at the knees.

Now, if some oblivious iSheep too busy with his organic coffee drink, the latest iDroidPad and MyFaceSpaceBook apps turning his melon into a low-fat smoothie is already in the roadway, regardless of whether there’s a crosswalk (or if his not making it to the other side has a potential benefit to society), cars must stop. Unfortunately.

But I think it’s about goddamn time you bleeding heart nicey-nices quit slamming on your brakes to do your daily good deed. The rest of us have no idea why you’re stopping and we swerve or slam on the brakes, sometimes causing a wreck. Do you know why?


You tunnel- vision drivers think that your little bubble of metal and plastic somehow makes everything you do OK? I hope the next time you pull that stupid stunt someone plows into the back of your SUV, you self-centered piece of shit.

So if your grandma Edna is waiting to cross an intersection without traffic lights for cars, she should wait for an opening. Once she’s in the road cars really ought to stop, but when some stupid SUV blocks other cars’ views by stopping for some 80-year-old with dementia, half-blind and -deaf, hunched over her walker and shuffling across the street, and with so many obviously retarded drivers out there (like you), it’s Russian roulette.

Drivers: You really only have to stop for people already in the crosswalk or roadway. And  pedestrians: You fucksticks don’t get a break waiting to cross (especially from me). You wait your goddamn turn or wait for the goddamn light. Remember, I’m waiting for that one chance to legally run your stupid, worthless fucking ass over, so watch the fuck out. Asshole!

The Angry Driver drives thousands of miles a year locally in his day job and sees every goddamn day how shitty all you assholes drive.


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