Emily Hobelmann, contributor
Savage Henry Magazine recently broadened its horizons out beyond the Redwood Curtain, and guess what we found out there… Hot single men like our June bachelor — hottie with the body. Reader, please meet…
Edgar, 37, double-job ninja — shipping manager + server; Loomis.
E-money’s got his shit together. Straight up. He’s definitely not a man-child, and really, guys don’t get much better than him. He works for a growing Northern California soil manufacturer (Get it…? Grow- ing!), plus he waits tables at a mega-popular restaurant. Boo. Ya. Ball. Er. Do the math — E-Money clearly has a good thing goin’ on.
He’s got a big smile and a big family, and for the record, Ed- gar is family-first kinda guy. Translation: if you wanna date this fella, get over yourself, like right meow. E-Money’s roots stretch down to South Lake Tahoe, but these days he’s straight up Central Valley — country, horses, and cows baaay-bee! Ed- gar rides a Yamaha V-Star cruiser — keep your eyes peeled for the lusty dark curls of his Mexi-fro blowing in the wind.
THE E-MONEY PLUS: Freakishly large hands.
THE E-MONEY MINUS: He works a lot.
CELEBRITY CRUSH: Megan McCormick from the Globe Trekker series. (He’s got good taste… She’s hot and she’s worldly.)
CELEBRITY LOOK ALIKE: Robert Deniro. Al Pacino. Andy Garcia. Mr. Bean.
GREAT FIRST DATE: Mini golf, bumper cars, + the arcade. Yessssss. Roller skating is an option too.
TURN ONS: Healthy eating habits. Confidence. Ladies with no teeth. (Every bachelor hopes for one, dontcha know.)
TURN OFFS: Overbearing women. Tyrants need not apply. MILFs: Oh yeah.
ON BODYSCAPING: E-Money keeps up on his manscaping, and he definitely appreciates a well-manicured ladyscape. (Hell, who doesn’t?)
TEXTS VS. PHONE CALLS: Neither. Once you get to know him a bit, this hottie prefers real life, in-person flirtation.
DADDY ISSUES: E-Money doesn’t have any daddy issues — he loves his dad. You should know, however, that E-Money has definitely caused a lady or three to yell out, “¡Ay Papi!” (That sort of salaciousness is technically not an issue though.)
This Libra has a big, big heart. Example: He is allergic to cats, yet he still pets them. That is so sweet. The kitties love him! But, all sweetness aside, S.H.I.T. advises against trying the needy- kitty routine on Edgar — it may work for the cats, but it will not work for a girlfriend.
Go with confidence, ladies, and you might just score that which is E-Money.