The Shoechuckers: Hippies or Mexicans: Deportation Roulette

Choada Salinas, Columnist

Look at it this way. Imagine if every stinky dreadlocked dork in Guatemalan pants were to start getting pulled over and accosted on the suspicion of being a loser. Hold on, that’s wrong — it assumes they’re in cars. Let’s say stopped on the street. Yeah, that’s better. Can you see it now? You know that kid is white as a Klan sheet; it’s just hard to see through all that dirt. There he is, lying face down on the ground in front of you. The cop is screaming, “I am going to beat the suburban white-boy piss out of you,” before stomping on his head. Some chick cop — we’ll call her a sow — some sow walks up and kicks him in the arm. The kid’s not moving, he’s not even speaking, but he’s just been kicked by two cops — once in the head, just for being a suburban twerp and looking the part of an unproductive loser, the kind of guy who draws food stamps despite his perfect ability to work. The kind of guy who would have sold those food stamps for 50 cents on the dollar so he could buy some weed. Of course, that’s harder now that they’ve gone to those damn EBT cards.

Anyway, the scenario above did actually happen. Not in Biloxi 1960, but in Seattle 2010. Only it wasn’t some suburban, runaway hippie loser. It was a Mexican kid in Seattle. And the cop really did say, “I’m going to beat the Mexican piss out of you,” and he really did stomp on this kid’s head and some horrible sow did kick him in the arm as he lay face down with his hands on his head. It reminds me a lot of how Oscar Grant got killed on New Year’s Eve 2009. Actually, for a good reference point, both of these are well-represented on YouTube. Do a search; look them up. I know you have the time on
your hands, I know you have your goofy-ass, Internet- connected 3G “stupid” phone in your pocket. Reach down and fish it out — try not to fall off the commode. Put the magazine down, you can wipe later.

Now, the point here is not to highlight police brutality, although we’ll chat about that in the future. The point here is to put a white kid in the place of a Mexican and see what happens. There’s a reason for doing that. There is a huge debate going on in this country right now about immigration. Mexicans are being vilified as agents for the Third- World-ization of America. People on both sides are running around making the same point that America is the Abercrombie- wearing land of translucent, English- speaking ignorance. One side claims it, the other side proves it.

Look at Arizona’s racist new immigration law (and anyone who says that the law in Arizona is not conducive to racism and police harassment is completely full of shit). I happened to be walking in Phoenix the last week of April and had the Goddamn police helicopter circled me for half an hour. Granted, I was stripping someone’s car, but I am positive that they picked me out because I am brown. Or look at that gubernatorial candidate in Alabama, Tim James. That idiot’s campaign slogan is, “This is Alabama, we speak English.” Apparently, he can only barely speak English. That gibberish of a statement exhibits a tenuous grasp on the language he seems so proud to “speak.” He should change his slogan to, “This here’s Alabama, we talk trailer, send them spix back to Mezco.” Fucking hick.

If anyone is ruining American society it’s white people. Crackers. Honkys. Gueros. Gringos. Palefaces.

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