Six Beer Deep: Scrimshaw Pilsner

Scrimshaw Pilsner
North Coast Brewing Company
ABV: 4.7%

First of the North Star: It’s a little uncommon for craft breweries to make their own pilsners, mostly because doing so requires cooler, refrigerated temperatures to ferment. This is hands-down one of my favorite beers to drink. It’s crisp, slightly sweet, the hops are subtle, and I knew from the get go that there was little choice in the adventure of drinking six of these.

Two for the Money: The one downside to all of this is that it being so good and drinkable, is that you end up drinking these beers much faster. I should have made this 12 beers deep. This will be over quick, and it will hit me all at once I feel.

Three Kings Cup: So I got issue with the name. Scrimshaw is when you carve an artistic etching into the bone of either an aquatic animal or some other kind of ivory. Umm…how is that ok with anybody? Where’s PETA? Where’s that boat of people that try to stop whalers that got their own Discovery Channel show? Why do I keep asking questions like this?

Four More Beers: Ok, I’ve settled my ethical qualms about carving art on the bones of potentialaly endangered speacits. It’s art, you can’t argue with it. And who am i to gjudge? I love veal and foie gras! Yes, with an exclamation point even!

Five Alive: So look, I really shouldn’t be doing this in the office. This is a river beer. Whenre athey gonna put this out in t can? All more ecological and stuff, to offste their namesalke. It’s so nice outseide.

Something that rhymes with Six: Ok ok i got it. What if we just carve that art onto the tusks and bones and teeth of all thesse animals while they’re astill alive? I mean, we get our art and a clean conscienase. I mean, they’d have the tattoos of the manatee world. They’d be all stying and whatnot with the stuff and all that jazz and you know what i’m talk inga about . I’m a genius with big ideas. klfa

This piece was brought to you by Blondies Food and Drink, located on the corner of L K Wood and California in Arcata, CA.
Josh is a somewhat professional drinker that takes all sorts of precautions when writing this article. Please remember to enjoy your beverages legally and responsibly.


About Josh Duke

Josh is an editor for Savage Henry Independent Times, He resides in Arcata, CA. When not performing stand up comedy or performing improv with Random Acts of comedy, you can follow him on Twitter @BonusMcHustle

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