Six Beers Deep: Hell or Highwatermelon Wheat Beer

Hell or Highwatermelon Wheat Beer, ABV: 4.9%
21st Amendment Brewery

This first one is seedless: So I’m going to admit that I have had this beer before at festivals, and have never once liked it. I even once gave it the “Most likely to be poured out on the ground in disgust” award, but I figured that I would give it an honest try by forcing myself to drink six of them in succession. The taste of this thing is just as you’d imagine: a straight up wheat beer with a watermelon flavor that hits you right in the beginning. It finishes clean, leading me to believe that it’s best enjoyed on a hot day at the river. I also recommend drinking this as ice-cold as possible, because warm watermelon is no bueno.

You have a nice pair of watermelons: Ok, so a friend that works in groceries told me that the worst smelling rotting food ever is when watermelons go bad. Watching him think about it still made him almost wretch which makes me almost wretch. And I can’t not think of rotting watermelons while drinking this beer.

That girl in Total Recall had three watermelons: So this is already getting old. I get it. Watermelons.

Fourth: Serisouly. Now I’m just bored. I mean, this even tastes like they dtried to make it taste cheap because we in the hip beer crowd equate cheap domestics with being refreshing. I maen, really. Someone just told me to eat some watermelon with it, but I just threw a pen at them cuz they’re wrong. Why should i have to consume something else with my beer so that it suckes less? This isn’t “six wedgest o fwatermelon depep”

I want a fifth of something else: Ok, so it isnt’ tbad. really. it’s just t like that guy at the party that only knows one joke. I mean, I get it, you got your watermelon, but there really iisn’t a awhoel lot goign on here.

Nix the Sixth: ya ever eeaten a whole watermeon before ? Yeah, it’s like taht, but with cans of beer with picture s of the statute aof liberty sitting on the goldgen geat bridge. I mean, she’s gonna gbareak that bridge. Two histor ical landmarks, destroyed!
Josh is a seasoned drinker that wears and utilizes all necessary safety equipment and precautions before responsibly reviewing a beer. Do not try this at home, and please remember to drink enjoyably, responsibly, and legally.

This piece is sponsored by Blondies Food and Drink, which has the best beer selection in Humboldt County.

 

About Josh Duke

Josh is an editor for Savage Henry Independent Times, He resides in Arcata, CA. When not performing stand up comedy or performing improv with Random Acts of comedy, you can follow him on Twitter @BonusMcHustle

Check Also

Rejected Exit Surveys From Heaven’s Gate

Matt Redbeard, contributor   OPPODY All I know is before I couldn’t stop banging. It …