Six Beers Deep: Immortal Ale by Dogfish Head

This First One is Gonna Hurt – It should first be said that no one should drink six of these. In fact, Dogfish Head doesn’t think you should either, since apparently they only come in 4-packs. But hell, this isn’t called “Four Beers Deep,” and so I bought two 4-packs. As I took a big long pull, it immediately warmed me up. It was like a hoppy, malty pour of IHOP syrup being poured down my throat like a goose being turned into foie gras. Come to think of it, after I’m done with six of these my liver will probably look like foie gras.

Is it Hot in Here, or is it Just Two – I’m already getting that “I can’t feel my face” feeling. Which would be good if this were the winter times, and not the hottest Humboldt Summer on record. I feel like this stuff is so thick and syrupy that any fly in the tri-county area is gonna kamikaze into my beer. At this point my palate has adjusted, and I’m noticing more of the smoother flavors rather than the more poignant ones. As with any beer, the more of it you drink, the more drinkable it gets. For soemtahin that’s so lmalty it sure has a lot of hop notse.

Three is Definitely Company – I shouldvea eaten dinner. Defintely shouldvne eathen dinner. What was I thinking? “I’ll just drink my dinnner!?” I said/expaline to myself and to mysefl i mean with my voice in my mind’s deye. What kinda name is Immort annyway?

I Should Called This One 4 Beers Deep – Jesus this is kicking my ass. But no really, whys it callled Immort ale? Like it’s immortal? Like it’s the freakin’ Highlander? In that case, theree should be only won.

I Might Call it after 5 – Have you ever typed a apper drunk, and when you’re doing it, oure head is all slumped down and yuou’re nowt even looking at the keys are the dcscreen or the keys or the screen of the keys a you just keep typeing this stream of consciousness because in your drunk addled state of mind all you can do to focus and stay conscious is to do this very one thing that I am doing righ tnow. I like long sentences. How is my spelling.?

I am Gonna be Six – The onlyi upsdie to this whole situation si that at least i didn’t drink all the beer in th ehouse.

About Josh Duke

Josh is an editor for Savage Henry Independent Times, He resides in Arcata, CA. When not performing stand up comedy or performing improv with Random Acts of comedy, you can follow him on Twitter @BonusMcHustle

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