Six Beers Deep – Levitation Ale

Levitation Ale
Stone Brewing Company
ABV: 4.4%

Beer! – Here we have another offering from Stone Brewing, the brewery that reminds us incessantly that we aren’t worthy of drinking this beer, and that we are somehow committing some sort of macho fraud by drinking their often over-hopped, high alcohol concoctions. Well not this time, as they remind us on the essay printed on the side of the bottle. No, this time, they self aggrandizing is brought on by the accomplishment of brewing a full bodied amber ale that is in fact lower in alcohol than their usual ales. Well la dee frickin’ da, good for you guys.

Two Beers! – Y’know, this may make me look a little careless, but perhaps I should have read what was on the side of the label BEFORE I popped the cap. Now my kitchen floor is sticky, and I’ll really only be drinking 5 beers.

Three Beers! – I will give it to them, for all their bravado they seem to put into their image, they doo make a good beer. It’s got some citrus to it, yet has just enough hoppiness to it that makes it enjoyable and not overbaering.

Four Beer! – Y’know that this beers is good for? This beer is good to go with breakfast. Like, I ‘d mix this with pancake syrup and be all like, “look at me Stone Brewery! I’m doing some Alpha male shit with my breakfast! Whaddya gunna do about it>?” Then I’d flip the table over and walk away as something explosds, cuz that’s what neat manly guys do.

Five Beers! – Oh man, I’m really on thi sbreakfast thing. Like this beer really goes someothing well with soemthing that’s sweet. Like they should just have this at IHOP cuz that would make Ihop tolerable sometimes. Like, they could get the wait staff to dress up as the gargoyles that are the mascot of Stone and we’d all scream in terror as we ordered pancakes and beer syrip. Why do i keep giving waayw my genius ideas in this column? Because I’m tyring t o give back to the people. You’re welcome.

Six Beers! – This always happens to me. I pick thi slow alcohol beer and all I wanna do after the sixth one is get more, even though I’m sure full feeling and I’m gonna feel all torn about what to do and the walk beack from the store is a gonana be all slow and wobble and waddle like and I dunno what I should od. I want some hasch browns.

Josh is a semiprofessional drinker that likes to think that he knows what he’s doing. Please remember to mind your P’s & Q’s, call your mother to say something nice, and always enjoy indulging responsibly.

About Josh Duke

Josh is an editor for Savage Henry Independent Times, He resides in Arcata, CA. When not performing stand up comedy or performing improv with Random Acts of comedy, you can follow him on Twitter @BonusMcHustle

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