Six Beers Deep: Mad River Brewing Company’s Steelhead Extra Pale Ale

Brewery: Mad River Brewing Company ABV: 5.6%

First Beer at a Time – For many of us in the Pacific Northwest, this beer is a staple, a crisp and shining paragon of our regions brews that has won a plethora of awards and accolades. For the rest of you, Steelhead is that beer you’ve probably ignored at least once on the shelves of Trader Joe’s. Steelhead is the go-to six-pack for dinner parties, river outings, baseball games, and any time your date can’t make up their mind at a bar when you ask them if you can buy them a drink. It’s the beer that appeals at least a little to everybody.
It’s like if a group of you and your friends were flipping through channels, and you end up popping in an early season of the Simpsons instead. Steelhead has a sweet beginning, subtle hoppiness, and a slightly tart finish that seamlessly transitions through your palate. I think I’ll go for another.

It Takes Two, Baby – I’m digging this beer. I know I’ve had it before, and any praise I heap on it is just preaching to the choir, but this beer is comfortable. It’s what I like to call a “lawnmower” beer; something I can drink while cutting the grass while not having to think about it. I wonder how many of these I can drink and still mow my lawn well.

Three is More Than Two – So I was having a revelation/epiphany about thi sstuff. Theis beer is a river beer, right? Everybody likes to take it to the river and drink it while high fiving each other saying “To river beer!” So what could make Steelhead even more of a river beer? I think I got it. Put it in cans! I’m a marketing genius.

It is All Downhill from Beer – Oh, oh oh. Even better. Make the cans outta stteeel. Then shape them like heads. Not only will that be the heaviest and most bad assiest head sahped six pack there is, but I’ll be able to walk around and be all like, “Yeah that was me!” Time to mow the lawn.

I Plead the Fifth – They should also make a six pack that’s shaped like the midsection of a guy that does
a alot of situps and crushnchse and shit. I dunno what that has to do with beer or trout or steel heads, but i’m gonna sell this idea to sometbody. I’m just a dude that got told by the cops to not chase my landlord with a lawnmores, but I got big ideas!@

I Wanna Sixth You Up – yknow how like there’s a competition for everything, right? Like, there’s comp;etetions for like everyth professions out there. There’s guys that see who can chop down the tree the fastest. There’s meat butcher competitions, whatever. fLawnmore races, even!So I bet somewehrtee out there is a contest to see who makes the best custom trphy. But what does that guy that wins get? A trophy?? He already makes the best! Imma gonna make your head explode right after i make the bathroom explosed.

About Josh Duke

Josh is an editor for Savage Henry Independent Times, He resides in Arcata, CA. When not performing stand up comedy or performing improv with Random Acts of comedy, you can follow him on Twitter @BonusMcHustle

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