Six Beers Deep – Moonstone Porter

Moonstone Porter

Six Rivers Brewery

ABV: 6.2%

First Things First: Ok, so I haven’t written about any of Six Rivers’ beers yet, because, well, it hasn’t come to mind. Despite the wide offerings that they’re taphouse has, precious little is actually sold in 6-packs. I hadn’t done a dark beer in a while either, so here goes. Yeah, it’s pretty much what I thought it’d be. It’s your basic porter, but tweeked in such a way that it gives it enough of a distinct character to make it remarkable. It’s like this tasty mix of chocolate and coffee with a hint of prunes. I hope there aren’t actual prunes in this stuff, because I’ve sat down in my comfy chair, and there is no way that I’m getting up to use the bathroom.

Second Thing’s Second: Alright,now the palate adjustment is done, and this beer is pretty good. So far, my tummy hasn’t told me there’s prunes in here. But have you ever tasted one of those gourmet chocolates that’s like 70% cacao, and then you eat it, but everyone’s hyped it up so much that you’re kinda predisposed to not liking it, because you don’t want to be one of the mindless droves of hipster bandwagoneers? Drinking this beer felt like how I didn’t really like Seinfeld until after the show was over, because when it was on, everyone was bugging me so much to watch Seinfeld because it was THAT good. In other words, this is the Seinfeld of porters.

Third thing’s…you get the idea: So I think I figured out how to get thourh this non-pruned beer. I went next door to my place and got a brownie from Blondie’s I even lucked out and got a corner piece. But yeah, brownies and moonstone porter. Dig it.

Go Fourth: Dude, this brownie is the shit. Ok, I wish i could rink milk, but NO, i had to go and be lactose intolerant. some might call me a milk bigot. Seriously, giv em ea bowl of ice cream, and you’ll have to make your bathroom look like a Dexter kill room. good thing i have more beer.

Fif: So like, is anyone else dissappointed witht he ending of Dexter? maybe he should have been a milk bigot. This beer is not the Dester of poertes. It’s the Seinfeld.

Six: I’m really lreally full. And kinda buzzed. I just want to clost my eyes whil eai type thins thing, cuz somehoe whtat feels peaceful. I think im’ hitting the right keys. Buy and/or make brownies. Brownes should come with every purchase of this beer. And milk. or Almond milk. Or whatever it is you other people besdies me drink instead of regular milk. Buy it.

Josh is a seasoned drinker that sufficiently pads his walls to prevent any harm or injury to himself while he writes his column. Be like Josh, and take overambitious precautions to consume alcohol in a safe, responsible, and legal fashion. Cheers.

About Josh Duke

Josh is an editor for Savage Henry Independent Times, He resides in Arcata, CA. When not performing stand up comedy or performing improv with Random Acts of comedy, you can follow him on Twitter @BonusMcHustle

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