Sugar Honey Iced Tea!

(what Grandma Jones used to say when she burned herself taking a pie out of the oven)

 Lucy Castle, contributor

My grandpas were very different. One was a Methodist Kentucky coal-miner with tattoos on his back from when the coal dust gathered in the scratches that the pick-axe made, and the other was a Florida cracker who shot pigeons to feed his brother while his dad ran rum from Cuba during Prohibition. Either way, they had some sayings.

Kicked by the Same Mule: When you bear a resemblance to someone in your family, or act like them.

Got a Hair Stuck Crossed-Wise or Got a Hitch in Yer Git: Along--Maybe you’re grumpy, or not up to par, or you’re limping or can’t make rent for a few months.

Shit Fire!: You can’t believe your eyes, or you just got a fish-hook stuck in the back of your neck as you were casting.

Loaded for Bear: You’re angry, or ambitious, or both.

Well, I’ll Be a Suck Egg Mule: You either didn’t see it coming, or the result is just plain confusing.

Gol Durn the Gol Durn Luck or Dag-Nabbit: Goddamnit.

You’re Crackin-Up Material or Get a Switch: You’re cruising for a bruising, so choose a weapon, since you’re about to be punished.

Like I Said: Sit still and listen.

I’ll have to work on my own euphemisms for the next generations, but my kids are allowed to say “Firetruck!” because it starts with an F and ends in an uck.


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