Tag Archives: #03

ROAD raGE “The Angry Driver Wants TO lISten, Fuckface”

The Angry Driver, Contributor I admit it freely — I’m one fucking pissed-off, angry motherfucking driver. I get red-faced, vein-popping, screaming mad due to other people’s driving. I pound the steering wheel and honk incessantly and rev the engine to a screaming pitch while tailgating, flashing my lights and trying to intimidate you into getting the goddamn fuck out of …

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HAIKUS ABOUT HUMBOLDT

Eureka Industrial smoke Over hard-working white trash Pittsburgh by the sea Arcata Hipsters and hippies Battle over the turf where A college once stood McKinleyville Growing like a weed Move here for the tract housing Hope you like white folks Kneeland Miles of uphill road Unkempt mansions left and right Much pot is grown here Fieldbrook Beautiful hillside Mountain crest, …

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La La La La Lola and life’s other lessons

Even before puberty, we catch bits of harsh insight about the world: that things can harm you, that not everything is fair and that adults are fallible and even capable of straight-faced lying to you. Most kids find this out when they discover the truth about Santa. For me it was about the lyrics to the Kinks song “Lola.” I …

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Ben’s Ten: Volume III

1. David Bowie — “Ziggy Stardust” (1972) To the casual listener, the Bowie classic “Ziggy Stardust” may sound simply like the story of a rock star, his rise to fame and ultimately his tragic decline. Upon closer inspection, there’s so much more. Ziggy is actually an alien being sent to Earth with a message of hope, peace and love. The …

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Restaurant Review: The Daily Grind

Randi H, Contributor While walking around the small town of Myers Flat, my daughter and I decided to walk into the local coffee shop, the Daily Grind. We weren’t really there to buy anything, we just wanted to check it out. After a look around, we start to walk out. As I am walking out the door, I realize I …

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Untitled

Max Howe, Contributor It’s late. the liquor store lights rest as the liquor store patrons writhe in alcoholic bliss. We haven’t eaten in three days thanks to a lack of marijuana somehow I find myself able to shit although it always comes out like water which I find to be disturbing since I can’t eat. She’s naked on my bed …

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Judging a book…

Who’s got time to read anymore? Sure, books are great and they make you look studious on your shelf, but really, who’s got time to read? Between updating your Facebook, Twittering that you accidentally put your shoes on the wrong feet and watching the latest viral video on on YouTube, who has time to read? Let me help you choose. …

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Subject: Fw: for the greater good

My grandma is a forwarder. Everyone knows a few forwarders. It’s the magic that spreads hilarious photos of cats with captions and videos of fat guys bo staff fighting. But you can imagine the sort of stuff your grandmother might forward you. Grandma stuff. Recipes and scams of which to be wary and tips to stay healthy. The sort of …

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The Last Dispatch

John C. Osborn, Contributor “All circuits are busy,” the monotone male recording said. “Please try again later.” Sandra trembled as she redialed the number. She pressed the cell phone so hard against her ear, it left an imprint. The phone’s blue glow made her cream-colored, smooth-skinned face look oxygen-starved. Dial tone made connection. “9-1-1,” a female dispatcher said on the …

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You might be a… failed writer

You might be a… You might be a failed writer if you name your kids Holden and Phoebe. You might be a failed writer if you can’t see your walls through all the rejection letters you’ve tacked up for “motivation.” You might be a failed writer if you own at least one copy of the “Writer’s Market.” You might be …

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