Tag Archives: #04

Savage Henry Summer Get-Away Guide to the Great Outdoors

Our backyard is an outdoorsman’s paradise. Whether kayaking, backpacking, hunting or fishing be your pursuit, California’s rugged North Coast offers it in abundance. How hard is our crush on the great outdoors? We Humboldters have been known to cry over the YouTube trailer for “A River Runs Through It” — the 1992 Brad Pitt vehicle purporting to boast the natural …

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Why do we trust dudes with beards?

In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s big money in long facial hair. Fact is, you can’t swing a dead cat these days without hitting a consumer product that’s being pimped by dudes with unkempt facial hair. Question is, why? The predominant message Bearded Guy conveys, after all, is that he is too broke — or too lazy — to spend …

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Las Vegas: Parents Gone Wild

Prelude: It was a normal day. A lot of running around; nothing special — until I finally made it home. Ria was very excited, but she didn’t tell me what was going on. She was like, “You wanna have some real fun?” I was stunned. “Like Richard Gere?” “No, what?” “Nothing, nevermind. What?” “We’re going to Las gas!” “I’m never …

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Road Rage “Geritol Generation Genocide”

The Angry Driver, Contributor Road rage is never at its most frustrating when stuck behind old people driving. Old. Fucking. People. Driving. They drive cars that are only practical when you need absolute comfort for your champagne-sipping passengers while hurtling down the freeway at 100 m.p.h. They have the worst vision, the worst hearing, the worst reaction times and the …

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This is NOT a sports story

I grew up by the foothills of the Sierras directly four hours over L.A. and four hours under S.F. You’d think that would have made me California-sports-team neutral, maybe even with a Bay lean, because L.A. is, well … L.A. They have enough love from the world. I hate that I must throw in mine for their sports team. My …

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Evening in Kadiköy

James Tressler, Contributor In the days of the Ottoman Empire, the streets of Istanbul were plagued by dogs (in some parts of the city this hasn’t changed) — street dogs who wandered alone and, at night, in packs. They were generally cared for well; any dog that lingered outside the door of a cafe would be given some morsel from …

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Letters to the editor #04 (c)

Dear S.H. Editor, While A. Nus (SH #3, letters to the editor) has clearly spent a good portion of his life in the Humboldt pot industry, he’s misidentified the top tier of his cannabis industry hierarchy. Growers don’t belong in this hierarchy, because real growers actually grow and trim their own weed, thus avoiding hierarchy. People who need three cell …

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Letters to the editor #04 (b)

Dear Editor, Wow. Sarah Godlin’s article in the July issue about her Grandma’s forwarded emails. AWESOME! First I tried the hair conditioner to shave my legs. I have this really nice hair conditioner, but I hate the smell. I gave your tip a try, and hot shit, it worked great and I can’t smell my legs anyways! Now I eat …

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Letter to the editor #04 (a)

Dear Savage Henry editors, I am frustrated by your decision to not run my short erotic story, “My Advisor and Me”. As a feminist and avid proponent of First Amendment rights, it offends me that your editorial team would participate in this type of censorship. I felt empowered by writing about a sexual encounter that was both incredibly exciting and …

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So you think you are a badass scrabble player?

Chad Kingston-MacDonald, contributor My advice to you is to do what your parents did: Play on a real board. Oh, sure, you consistently rack up 40-point games on Scrabble for iPhone and routinely score 50-point, seven-letter bonus monsters on “Words with Friends” (a cheap iPhone app ripoff version of Scrabble). We’ve seen you gleefully gloating on Facebook about your use …

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