Tag Archives: #55

Rejected Boone’s Farm Flavors

Chuck Berry Hill What’s better than just getting fucked up? Getting fucked up while listening to some old-ass rock and roll, or at least that’s what they thought. But apparently didn’t like the blend of prunes, new car, and brown-eyed handsome man. Fozzy Navel Wakka Wakka, am I right? Have you heard of this show called “The Muppets”? Of course …

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Canned Wine: So easy to open, even a child should do it

Adam Pearlstein, contributor If you’re tired of people assuming you’re educated because you enjoy wine, Underwood Wineries has the answer for you: wine in a can. As you know, wine was invented by Jesus Christ on his 21st birthday. After famously turning a glass of water into wine, Jesus drank the wine, pooped out grapes, and planted wineries all around …

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Six Wine Coolers Deep

Bartles & Jaymes Exotic Berry Wine Cooler E & J Winery Modesto, CA 3.2% ABV Let’s get this over with: Ok, so I’ve never been one to usually go out and buy wine coolers, but I figured I should try new forms of masochism every now and then. I had this idea in my head that if I made the …

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Hollywood Death Watch: Betting Edition

The stars are dropping like flies! First Rock Hudson, now all the other ones? Holy smokes! The betting is hot and heavy and the office pools are filling up fast — which sexy celeb will kick the bucket next? Ante up for our favorites: * Many analysts point toward ensemble cast members of television shows as potential candidates for death. …

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Advanced Cooking with Wine

William Toblerone, Contributor No, I don’t think I have to tell you how to do everything. But I also know you have a tendency to fuck things up like it’s your life’s purpose. (Remember when we lost our deposit after your Hindenburg themed party?) So just follow these instructions so you won’t starve. You will need: 2  slices of bread …

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Toasts from a Wino

Keith D, contributor  Every morning, when my freshly toasted bread pops out of my toaster (AKA: trash can fire), I raise my glass of wine in the air and whimsically declare, “To toast.” I then proceed to down my glass because it’s bad luck to slow-play your toast drink. Just one of many… Toasts from a Wino: To Franzia, because …

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A Sommelier’s Guide to Toilet Wine

Pelican Bay Sauvignon Blanc When I first sipped this delicate nectar I was hit with a very round, chunky texture. The abundance of fruit cocktail and ketchup was complemented by a warm Lysol tinge that caused me to lose vision in my right eye for 45 minutes to an hour. There was a nice overtone of toffee in this wine, …

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Rock Stars Come Together to Bring “Notes of Hope” to Napa Valley

Samantha Gilweit, contributor Over 300 million dollars in damages, thousands of bottles broken, and several Chateaus brought down to rubble. These are just some of the horrifying statistics coming from the Napa earthquake that led Armando Van Trestle of Van Trestle Vineyards to throw “Notes of Hope for Napa” the largest benefit concert Napa Valley has ever seen. “People are …

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Joe Pettis hasn’t caught Ebola yet; an interview

Meet Joe Pettis, an Atlanta-based comic and the hard working creator of popular shows like the craft brewery-centric Beer & Comedy Show, the weed inspired 4:20 Comedy Hour and his most successful venture to date, the Underwear Comedy Party, which he has taken to over 30 cities so far this year. We talked to Pettis recently about love, laughs and …

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