Tag Archives: breakfast

Skip to My Lunch

William Toblerone, contributor It’s widely accepted that doctors are among the most qualified professionals around when it comes to talking about health stuff. Even though they have told us for years that breakfast is the most infuriating meal of the day, people continue to push morning food into their faces. I have learned to avoid it at all costs. I …

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Hey Fat Asses, Eat This

Samantha Gilweit, contributor I was once a fat ass. And then I was like, “I don’t want to be a fat ass anymore.” So I went to the Internet and started reading shit about fat asses that no longer wanted to be fat asses. I started eating different. I started exercising and shit. I stopped eating tons of carbs. Yeah, …

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Failed Breakfast Cereal/Movie Tie-ins

Timothy Paul, contributor The Fast and the Flakiest Saving Private Raisin Diary of a Mad Black Marshmallow Das Fruit Cream of Madea Citizen Grain Dallas Buyers Puffs Chocolate Phillips The Wolf of Puffed Wheat Extremely Loud and Incredibly Crisp True Grits No Cookies for Old Milk Sea Biscuits Four Weddings and Some Mueslix Iron Bran Harry Potter and the Goblet …

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Is This Breakfast?

Andrea Bartunek, contributor They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, because it is. It’s not good to skip it and you have to at least put something in your body. You usually wake up in the morning starving, hungover and reach for the closest form of food. To make this more entertaining, start playing a game …

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Breakfast in Bed

Isaac Kozell, contributor Doctors, nutritionists and loving mothers all agree that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Despite that, nearly 40% of adult Americans skip breakfast altogether. Starting your day off with a hearty meal has many benefits including improved energy, sharper brain function, weight loss and better karate skills. If you’re missing First Meal, you’re missing …

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Which Member of the Breakfast Club Are You?

Spencer Devine, contributor We all remember the classic 1985 feel-good teenage coming-of-age film The Breakfast Club. Like all of you, I have had the same question in my head for long as I can remember: which member of the Breakfast Club am I? Quizzes are fun, no pressure, just do your best.   What describes how you feel about coaching …

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Morning Cocktail Pairing with Monsieur Justin Gomes

Justin Gomes, contributor Good ‘morrow to you, dear reader. Welcome, have a seat here at the bar. I can see you’re a man/woman/(write your own!:______) in need of a hearty mother-approved breakfast. Well, fortunately for you, I am a master stonedommelier. I, along with Chef Boi R.D., have prepared a menu that is sure to delight. 2 Eggs poached, Peppered …

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Trendspotting: Breakfast Edition

Allison Mick, contributor Here’s a quick look at what will be plopping onto our breakfast plates in 2015. What We Eat When we said goodbye to 2014, we also finally said goodbye to that bullshit bacon-on-everything trend. Chicken apple sausage was “so five minutes ago” 10 minutes ago. The official new hotness in breakfast meats is salmon. I predict that …

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New Spot Reinvents Old Fave

FC Sierra, contributor Move over, donuts!. Nobody cares about you anymore. Step aside, cupcakes. Just because a bunch of moms with face tattoos and fat ex-felons owned cupcake shops last year doesn’t mean 2015 is yours. Fuck you, pancakes, you’re not my father. THERE’S A NEW REVOLUTION HAPPENING IN BREAKFAST SNACKS THIS YEAR, and who better to lead the charge …

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Morning Food Translations

Ivan Mueting, contributor When it comes to romance, it can be hard to pick up on how your partner feels, and what they’re really like. Next time you spend the night at your lover’s place, look at what they give you for breakfast. The gesture involves some effort and thought, and their choices can give you the valuable insight to …

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