Tag Archives: breakfast

An Ode to Bacon

Keith D, Contributor Oh Bacon, oh Bacon My hunger’s morning maiden A young pig just waiting To satiate the craving From American to Canadian Only turkey is forsaken Feed not on imitation Just authentic pork creations Such a thrill in the making With sizzling anticipation It’s aroma overtaking My well-practiced patience Risk trichinosis infection And Old God’s damnation To experience …

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Rejected Sugary Cereal Prizes

Kyle Keating, contributor   The Top 10 Cereal Toy Ideas That Never Made It Into Production   #10 – Skateboard Bearings While cereal producers thought they had captured the niche market crossover with skaters and cereal consumers, putting skateboard bearings into cereal made it taste rusty and oily.   #9 – Silly Putty We all love cereal and we all …

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Fuck Your Breakfast

I don’t understand the concept of breakfast. The closest I’ve ever come to eating breakfast is when I smoked weed out of a Granny Smith apple once, at 6 a.m., right before I fell asleep. They say it’s the most important meal of the day, which leads me to believe that it’s square and boring. Since it falls into the …

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Chasing the Drive Thru

There is no telling how many accidents I almost got into … how many pedestrians I almost killed … how many traffic tickets I could have rightfully received chasing one thing: The drive-thru before 10:30 a.m. If, on the rare occasion I was up before 11 a.m., I was on one mission before I could greet the rest of my day: …

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Ben’s 10 Volume LIX: Great Albums For a Leisurely Breakfast

Cat Stevens – Tea for the Tillerman Iron & Wine – Our Endless Numbered Days Elliot Smith – Elliot Smith Fleet Foxes – Sun Giant Fleetwood Mac – Future Games Public Enemy – It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back Miles Davis – Kind of Blue Neil Young – Harvest Tortoise – TNT Bob Dylan – Highway …

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Breakfast Cereal Mascots EXPOSED!

Cookie Crisp Dog Although it would seem that this dog loves his cookie crisp, his real addiction is far more sinister: crack and whores. In 1996, Chip the Dog was busted with a 13 lb rock of crack cocaine which he had lodged inside the world’s biggest gravity bong. There were also 74 whores jammed into his tiny motel room …

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