Tag Archives: cartoon issue

Restaurant Review: My Kitchen

Gaining weight like a man when you’re a man is manly. Gaining weight like a man when you are a short 30-year-old woman is depressing. My tramp stamp was frowning.That’s no good. So I cut out the sugar and saved my ass from being swallowed by my muffin top. I have uttered the phrase “I’d rather be dead than live …

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Album Review: Carcrashlander, “A Plan to Tell the Future.”

Bagel, contributor I knew the name Carcrashlander sounded familiar. I had attended one of their shows a few years back, but had difficulty in recalling their sound. This was most likely attributed to a few too many beers and telling some awesome story outside of the venue. I did remember that they were nice kids and their new album is sick! …

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Album Review: White Manna, “Dune Worship.”

In many ways, White Manna is the quintessential Humboldt band. This is substance-inspired, modern psychedelic rock at its loudest and finest. Opening track “Transformation,” beats a two chord chugging groove into submission, while guitarist/vocalist David Johnson’s vocals float hauntingly in the background. Another highlight is “Illusion of Illusion” that follows a more relaxed path. At first the rhythm section holds down a …

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Lessons in life, love and the word, from cartoons of the 90s

Tail Spin:  Animals can’t fly planes. No matter how well they are trained. They just can’t. I would like to apologize to a northern California petting zoo and adjacent airstrip. Animals lack the proper dexterity to fly an aircraft. I know that now and I’m sorry. Doug: Wearing shorts and a sweater vest will never get you laid. DuckTales: Scrooge …

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Everything I Needed to Know About Life I Learned From Cartoon Catchphrases

Keith D, contributor Dr. Albert walks into the waiting room where Keith anxiously awaits news about his friends who were in a horrible accident. Dr. Albert: Hey, hey, hey! Keith (with grave concern): What’s up Doc? Dr. Albert: They’re Greeeat! Keith (exuberant): Happy happy Joy Joy! Dr. Albert: D’oh! Keith (confused): Zoinks? Dr. Albert (rubbing together thumb and forefingers (expecting payment)): Dough… Keith (shocked): Well I’ll be doggoned… …

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Fat Albert is my Copilot

I wasn’t raised with a heavy religious presence in my house. Sunday school was more like Saturday school and my instructor wasn’t a stuffy nun or a preacher’s daughter in law. It was Fat Albert. With every episode of Fat Albert I became a better person. Albert and his Junkyard Gang, or for lack of a better word… disciples, would …

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Reviews on Today’s Girl Cartoons

Littlest Pet Shop I was driving past the fairgrounds recently and noticed the “Gun Show Today” billing on the marquis. The hundreds of mudded up trucks in the parking lot affirmed that it was, indeed, today and I wondered if any random 30-year-old lady could just go in and purcha se a gun. Maybe there were other weapons in there …

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What the Flux?

Now I’m dating myself here but I remember MTV’s Liquid Television. It was all those Spike and Mike Festivals of animations, but only a half hour and in your home! That’s when I first caught Aeon Flux. I know since then they have made a movie with Charlize Theron and have released the whole cartoon in its chronological order on …

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