Tag Archives: chris durant

Paul Danke – Dank

To say this is not a music review is a disservice because Paul Danke’s jokes are music to my ears. Danke released his semi self-titled debut comedy record Dank on A Special Thing records this month and his freewheelin’, off the cuff style makes it feel like you’re hanging out with a friend on a road trip. No, not that …

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Other Uses for the Boxed Wine Bags

When you’re all done draining every delicious drop of merlot from your Peter Vella or Franzia box, don’t fret; your fun with the box is not over. Rip open the box like a 8-year-old on Christmas day and behold the wonderment of what’s inside: a clear plastic bag or a silvery mylar bag will appear all crumpled and useless, but …

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Lost Bukowski Poems

One of the most famous winos of all time, poet and writer Charles Bukowski, wasn’t shy about his drinking, gambling or skirt chasing. Many a poem and short story discuss his adventures while drunk, most of the time on wine. We found in our archives an old Peter Vella box containing Bukowski’s lost poems; the ones he wrote shortly before …

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Top 10 Ways Trimmers will spend their money

Trimmers make money — not as much as they used to, and they don’t always get paid on time — but they still make money. Below are the results of a 4-year study into the Northern California and Oregon economies as they relate to trimmers. It sheds light on exactly what the trimmers are spending their money on. 10 – …

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Animals That Would Make Good/Bad Trimmers

The title says it all, so let’s skip the dumb intro and get right to the dumb story: Good Trimmers Tyrannosaurus Rexes Short arms allow for maximum efficiency, though he would take up a lot of room in the cabin. Beavers Have you seen what they can do to whole trees? Kangaroos Again, shorter nimble arms, but they’d probably let …

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Michael Jordan’s sure bets of the 90s

Hi, I’m world famous basketball player Michael Jordan. I make a lot of money, so much money I don’t know what to do with it all. So I picked up a pretty nasty gambling habit that may or may not have lead to my first, early and abrupt retirement. I’d like to share some sure bets to help your wallets …

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The Mystery of the Family Jewels

Chris Durant and Zeke Herrera, Staff The door swings open and grandma is standing right there. She’s angry, no doubt, but you can’t figure out why… You were just polishing the family jewels. “Stop! You’re not using any polish? You’re dry-rubbing it? That’s going to damage the family jewels!” You immediately stop, feeling embarrassed. No one ever told you how …

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Other Ways the Delorean Was Used

Movies are supposed to be about two hours long. And even though the Back to the Future franchise had 3 installments they just didn’t have enough time to show you all the other ways the Delorean was used. Lucky for you, I know! October 19th, 1985: Doc Brown goes back to October 1st, 1985 to pay his cable bill so …

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Other Photos Leaked From the Set of Star Wars VII

Recently the Internet was all a hubbub about photos of an under-construction Millenium Falcon from the set of Star Wars Episode VII. Well that really opened the floodgates. TMZ was paying gaffers and best boys and PAs millions of dollars for more leaked photos so we felt compelled to offer back issues of Savage Henry, PBRs, and the last of …

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Other ‘80s Slang We Forgot

The language of the 1980s was inventive and colorful. Radical. Awesome. Tubular, just to name a few. Here are some words and phrases from the ‘80s you might have forgotten. Testicular – When someone does something ballsy or brave. Don’t be so Gaddafi – When someone does something mean spirited or displeasing. Don’t be so Allaytola – See above. Don’t be …

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