Tag Archives: daddy issue

Six Beers Deep: Anderson Valley Oatmeal Stout

This is my new beer review column. I figured since everyone around the office kept calling me the “beer editor” or whatever, I should actually do something every now and again that actually has to do with beer, besides just drinking it. So every month, I’ll be reviewing a beer while I drink a whole six-pack of it. This will …

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My Dad Did Some Pretty Cool Shit

Anonymous (cuz I call my grandma a shitbag), contributor  As a child of the west coast, passive aggression courses through my body like a scourge of white blood cells, and I fucking hate it. There’s only so many times you can hear somebody say the phrase, “Umm…yeah…I was thinking… maybe you could put your towel in your room because its …

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Deal Ol’ Dad

Lucy Castle, contributor   You show too much leg. There was a time in the early 1980s when it was acceptable for straight men to have a Magnum P.I. mustache and wear daisy-dukes, and you rocked that look! It was also more than OK for you to wear a Speedo when we were stationed in Italy, but even I knew that you …

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Proud Bald Man

Keith D, contributor My father is a proud bald man. As a child, he prepared me for the hardships I would come to face as a bald man in America. He taught me comebacks to bald slurs such as “Baldy”, “Chrome-Dome”, and “Mr. Potato Head-lookin’-motherfucker.” He taught me not to wear a hat, but to hold my bald head high. …

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Dr. Shoechucker: In Defense of Patriarchy

Choada Salinas, contributor Face it – if it weren’t for men you wouldn’t be here. Even if your father was the kind of rolling stone that left you nothing but alone, he is still the primary reason for your existence. Women may be the ones giving birth but it’s men who provide the seed. Therefore, it’s really men who harbor …

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How Good of a Dad are You?

I have no children, but I’ll assess your paternal instinct anyway! 1) You’re looking for a movie to watch for family movie night, so you fire up the ol’ Netflix to pick something out. Which is more suitable for three kids of ages ranging from 5 to 8, one of which has a bedwetting problem? A) Finding Nemo B) Kids …

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My Father Said Things I Submitted to S.H.I.T.

Patrick Perkins, contributor My dad wasn’t a terrible guy and, though not a professor, he isn’t an idiot either. Considering he served on the Enterprise (though not under Kirk or Picard), he’s been to prison, was a logger, and now he runs his own farm. He’s an interesting guy. Over my life he’s given me some really great pearls of …

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The Truth Behind Those IN-N-OUT Verses

Everyone loves In-N-Out Burger. No matter where you travel in the Central Valley or down south, In-N-Out Burgers are always crowded. The Eddie Haskell-like employees, the limited menu, the freshness….whatever it is, In-N-Out is where it’s at. But have you ever noticed that their packaging has different Bible verses printed on the bottom or sides? Well we  thought we’d do the …

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Savage Henry’s Most Eligible Bachelor

Emily Hobelmann, contributor Savage Henry Magazine recently broadened its horizons out beyond the Redwood Curtain, and guess what we found out there… Hot single men like our June bachelor — hottie with the body. Reader, please meet… Edgar, 37, double-job ninja — shipping manager + server; Loomis.  E-money’s got his shit together. Straight up. He’s definitely not a man-child, and …

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Frankenstein is Your Daddy

Michael Sargent, contributor Dr. Frankenstein can be considered the daddy of all monster daddies’. From the mind of a teenage Mary Shelley, Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus (Prometheus is a trickster deity credited with creating a man from clay though purists will fittingly point out that Athena did breath them to life), and published in 1918, no monster creator has been imitated …

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