Tag Archives: dogs

Savage Henry’s Dog Breed Overview

Everybody loves dogs; heck, they’re the ultimate pet! But did you ever wonder what the differences between all the breeds are? Let me “break it down” for ya!   PUGS These little goofballs look like they got their little faces smashed in! Their little bark is DEFINITELY worse than their little bite, and they love to be snuggled! Very tender! …

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Harvesting the Energy of A Pug

Spencer Devine, contributor   Harvesting the energy of your pug is not an easy thing to do. Everyday exhausted dog owners let their inbred angel-baby-dogs sap them of their vitality, when in fact at the tips of their fingers is one of the most efficient batteries in the world.. The earth is dying, global warming slowly roasting us alive, and …

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Vengeance Night – A Short Story by WeRateDogs

(It’s a wet n boomin night. Doggo sniks into kitchen to snorp some water. Suddenly, a puppers leaps out of the shadows) DOGGO: H*ck fren, u scarin me PUPPERS: That’s my plan, fren DOGGO: What u meanin puppers PUPPERS: I read the letter in ur desk at work, Doggo. I know u borked my wife DOGGO: Whoops PUPPERS: U borked …

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Talking Dog Conspiracy Theory

Ryan Allen, contributor A viral video entitled “You won’t believe this shit” has been catching speed around the Internet lately, in which a talking golden retriever named Rover states that there is a conspiracy behind the very existence of dogs. In the video, Rover reveals that after eating an entire tray of marijuana-infused brownies, the world “suddenly opened up” around …

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The K-9 Unit

I was making the 37-hour drive back to New Orleans after another dizzying weekend at the 2015 Savage Henry Comedy Festival. As is customary, I was given a hearty assortment of cannabis-based gifts, including – but not limited to – some dank nugs, shatter, dabs and a dozen highly potent rice krispie treats. Being the obsessive that I am, I …

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Too Legitimized to Abandon

William Toblerone, contributor Congratulations on purchasing your new GoodCitizen™ Legal Intoxication Kit! You’ve chosen the nation’s only fully legal method of acquiring genuine Schedule II pharmaceutical narcotics without a prescription.   Please check the contents of your package thoroughly to ensure that it contains the following items: 1 Cardigan Welsh Corgi™ puppy 1 business card for John Mellencamp’s agent 1 …

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The Tale of Sir Muskers

Misha Trubs, contributor On a gray October afternoon, Sir Muskers stumbled in to his favorite Prohibition Bar, conveniently located below an old Cheese Factory, and ordered his favorite drink, a whiskey tonic. A once-proud businessman, he sat at the bar alone, and close to broke. His beloved Philadelphia Athletics had just won the 1930 World Series, so he finally had …

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