Tag Archives: Dutch Savage

This Blinding Light – Mountain

Dutch Savage, contributor   I am guessing this band is from Seattle? Acclaimed grunge producer Jack Endino worked with This Blinding Light to create a riff-pop sludge grunge Rock and Roll EP and it does not disappoint.   Catchy riffs and college-radio vocals smash themselves together, creating a kind of heaviness — not quite “Melvins-heavy,” but definitely producing a thickness …

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Patsy’s Pizzeria and Bar

Somewhere in New York City Asking a New Yorker where you can find the best pizza in Manhattan is a loaded question. Last month I decided to fly to New York to do just that. The New Yorker I chose to ask that question took me to a place that they very specifically said was in the “top three” of …

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Body Count – Manslaughter (Album of the Month)

The heavy metal band fronted by Ice “motherfuckin” T is back on the rock scene and in a big “motherfuckin” way.   The lead off track, “Talk Shit, Get Shot” is as catchy as it is heavy, with Ice yelling about a “motherfucker (who) hadn’t got shot in a while,” for acting “hard motherfucker.” From there we learn to “Pray …

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Shit I Wish Was Extinct

1. Shit. 2. My ex. 3. My tinct. 4. The fart I just lit. 5. Money. No, not really. 6. Bacon worship. 7. Epic hipster moustache bullshit. 8. The word “Epic” as it no longer means anything. 9. That dude that pissed me off earlier. 10. The other guy I fucking hate. 11. Hate. 12. This. Is. The. Worst. Use. …

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13 reasons that Jason will kill you

It’s Friday the 13th. You’re not dead. You were not drinking responsibly. You were trying to score and forgot that Jason is a goalie. For talking about his mom. He’s a muthafuckin’… Cop Killer!!!!!!!! He didn’t mean to. He told a really funny joke about Freddy and you died laughing. He didn’t appreciate it when you told him to “go …

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Letter From A. Broad: On The Pot

My dear Myrtle: Sometimes I have pipe dreams, but usually I have bong dreams. One bong dream had me opening up a mayonnaise and mustard shop on the moon and calling it STORE IN A COOL PLACE.  “Does anyone have an extra terrestrial I can borrow?” Everyone was eating unicorn on the cob and pancakes sold like hot cakes. If …

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The Uncovered Prophecies of Nostrildumbass

Nostrildumbass was a philosopher and dude from a long time ago. His wisdom and so-called “pre-dick shuns” have captivated the minds of many crazy people looking to rework and bullshit up his words into deeper meanings in order to make their own lives have more meaning, not unlike the Christians and their Bible. Recently an early manuscript was found by …

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If I had my way…

… I’d sing it like Sid Vicious. … “Boneless chicken” would have to be called “impotent chicken,” because that is more polite. … Vegans can’t kill ants. … Every year Wrestlemania would have a “Match Made in Heaven,” featuring two recently deceased wrestlers. … Mail slots are now called fe-mail slots, for postal equality and other obvious reasons. … There …

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A Letter From A. Broad (Get off your dead ass!)

Dear Myrtle, I hope this letter finds you (in a rut). If you really like Journey so much I suggest that you take a long walk somewhere far far away all by yourself and figure your shit out. Don’t stop believing that. My time away from suck-ciety has been everything you can’t imagine it to be. Last week in the …

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Atarivisited

Last night I had a dream that I was in a bowling alley called Klonopins. It was long and awesome (that’s what she said). Just past the greasy shoe jerk castaway on the median island of aerosol and ugly elf shoes was the kid’s version of the elder’s bar, the video game arcade. I eagerly entered like a Mormon with …

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