Tag Archives: extreme issue

Extreme Failures

Tim Palmer, contributor  With the success of “Mountain Dew” and the “X-Games”, extreme products have become huge moneymakers. But for all the success stories, there have been a number of missteps in attempts to turn other products into “extreme” versions. Here is a rundown of some of our favorites: XTREME TOYOTA CAMRY: Worked too well. All women under the age …

Read More »

A practical guide to: Shrimp Cocktail Substitutes

What do you call a half a dozen shrimp in a teetery thin glass with a spoonful of red sauce and and a lemon wedge? 11 bucks, usually. What do you call it when you replace those shrimp with legos? That’s art. Or a lawsuit. But an artistic one. And the lemon wedge with a pair of Jessica Simpson brand …

Read More »

Opinion Column

Tony Persico, contributor Extremely Awesome Ideas!! Make milk that doesn’t expire. Congress should be run like jury duty. You go to the mailbox and find out you’re a Senator. Every reality show should be combined with another reality show immediately, cutting the number of reality shows in half. This should be repeated ad infinitum. Left handed people, mostly left handed women, …

Read More »

Hylander, there can be only one: The Savage Henry Andre Hyland Interview

Andre Hyland hit Jimmy Kimmel with a brownie. Well, to be fair, the perpetrator was technically Minister Tracy Marune, a character of Hyland’s. “I really like Jimmy Kimmel. It’s not something that I personally would do. But it seemed like something the character would do. So I went with it.” Whatever Hyland is doing – whether it’s hosting a talk …

Read More »

A Day of Living Extreme

6:30a – My phone alarm goes off. Normal me prefers the “Classic Bell” tone. But not extreme me. Extreme me hits snooze but before going back to sleep, changes the alarm to Iron Maiden’s The Number of the Beast. 6:45a – I awake terrified, having forgotten about the alarm change. I regain composure and hit snooze again. 7:00a – OH …

Read More »

Lesser Known Facts About Extreme

The band Extreme was formed in 1975 when Brian May from the band Queen decided to eat 5 rolls of mentos and a 2-liter of Diet Coke right before rocking the pants off Wimbledon Stadium. The resulting pile of explosive vomit would be named Gary Cherone, Nuno Bettencourt, Paul Geary, and Pat Badger, aka Extreme. While the front man of …

Read More »

The Shoechucker: My Freedom Can Beat Up Your Freedom

Choada Salinas, contributor Our founding fathers invented freedom. America’s freedom is so awesome that everyone must sublimate to it, prostrate before it, and bear witness to the shock and awe that it demands. That’s why Chuck Norris is an American. His beard is a literal manifestation of American superiority. Behind every one of our freedoms is another freedom and we’re …

Read More »

Extreme Pet Owning

I snowboarded in Highschool and derbied while derby was young and for a sec in the early 2000s I was even a sponsored skateboarder. What an asshole I am! It had to do with having a low center of gravity and being kinda dumb. Now I’m older and nervous about breaking myself and so in the place of sport I …

Read More »

My Extremely Awesome Life

Tony Persico, contributor I have done so much with my extremely awesome life, the most interesting man in the world asks me what to do. I am an expert pilot, and am often seen doing loops and landing on runways. I avenged my brother’s death by single handedly wiping out several biker gangs, but the taste of revenge grew sour when …

Read More »

Mountain Dew Cocktails

While Mountain Dew has been seemingly relegated to those that think they’re snowboarders but actually just level up their orc hunter to 85, it’s time to make Mountain Dew X-TREMELY INTOCKSIKATIN’. Mountain Dewar’s 15 parts Mountain Dew 15 parts Dewar’s White Label Scotch Use this drink to show the ladies you’re X-TREME sophistication. Be sure to put the Dewar’s back …

Read More »