Tag Archives: Fantasy issue

Fantastic Yeasts and Where to Find Them

Evan Vest, contributor What is yeast, and where does it come from? These are questions that will never be answered. The only thing I, and I assume the rest of the world, know about yeast is that it helps bread bake, it gets infected, and my ex-girlfriend would ruin popcorn with it. But I have also found yeast in some …

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Scott Stapp’s Tour Rider

To: Rachel Lee, director, Muskegon Community Center From: Curtis French, XL Artist Management Ms. Lee, thank you for booking Scott Stapp and his band for July 7th as an additional leg on his tour through Michigan. To ensure Mr. Stapp’s level of comfort before the show, please provide the following: The top floor of a five-star hotel will be booked …

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Fun Facts About Dragons

Fun Fact #1: Dragons have a RST (Resting Snout Temp) of about 666 degrees fahrenheit, which hella means you can rip a wicked dab right out of the that beautiful dragon beak. Fun Fact #2: Dragons are allergic to a bunch of shit. Pollen, rocks, trees, and bubonic plague. Naturally you want to be frightened because of how “scary” and …

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Barbarian Name Generator

It’s easy and fun! Play with your friends!   First letter of first name   A – OG B – Crusty C – Slug D – Dumpling E – Gooby F – Douglas G – Creepy H – Barbi I – Dopey J – The Alamo K – Hula Hoop L – Super Mario M – Scott Bakula N – …

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Sex Talk with Zeke

Zeke Herrera, staff Sex Talk is an article where you write in and I answer all your pervy questions. Today’s topic is fantasy.   Hey Zeke, I was just thinking. You know what would be really cool? If a guy had a dick like a pitchfork. You know like it started as one dick but then turned into four dicks. …

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A Bad Day on the Death Star

Obi-Wan Kenobi walked into the room and fired up his blue lightsaber. VRMMMMMMMM. “I see you lit up your saber, Obi-Wan,” said his nemesis, Darth Vader. He revealed his own lightsaber and fired up that bad boy. It was red. VRRRMMMMMM. “You’ve got your own saber on you, eh? I expected as much, Darth,” said Obi-Wan. He produced a second …

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It’s Actually Just Steve

Gage Hensley, contributor While Steven Gray’s body was being coldly escorted out of his beautiful one-bedroom apartment, a relative (actually a family friend who everyone calls Aunt Cathy even though know one admits to inviting her into their lives) stumbled across Steve’s sad fantasy novel he wrote for himself. In this fan fiction narrative of his life, Steve didn’t waste …

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Tattoo Orders Things

Do you guys remember Tattoo from the hit 80’s television program Fantasy Island? Well, we do, and here are some transcripts of his common daily interactions.   Bagel Store Clerk: Hello Mr. Tattoo, welcome to Fantasy Island Bagels, what kind of bagel can I get started for you? Tattoo: De Plane! De Plane! Clerk: Would you like cream cheese, or …

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My Fantasy

Buttercup The Horse – translated by Cornell Reid I wish I was a horse. I mean, I am a horse, but I wish I was a different horse. I live in an alternate universe where horses can use computers. Hooves are usually pretty dope but when it comes to operating most laptops in your universe we’re shit out of luck. …

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Deleted Scenes from Disney’s Fantasia

We all love Disney’s 1940 cinematic masterpiece Fantasia. A perfect blend of classical music with Disney’s signature animation, featuring some of Disney’s most beloved characters. But not all the scenes that were drawn and choreographed made it into the final cut of the film.   Donald Duck was featured in a piece set to Saint-Saëns’ Danse Macabre that critics all …

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