Tag Archives: leslie small

The Best Strains to Name Your Children After

Leslie Small, contributor   In this Renaissance of marijuana which we reside in, one wonders just how far the ripple in this pond complied of pot culture will travel. It has successfully leaked into various reaches of our lives, but children’s names? It’s only a matter of time my friends. In the interest of the greater good I’ve compiled a …

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Demolition Derby

Leslie Small, contributor Most people think of a Demolition Derby as a rally of drunken rednecks smashing up cheap cars for slightly cheaper thrills. A tradition so American it’s no wonder the patrons of this spectacular culturefest often don apparel adorned with the American flag in various designs, including, but not limited to, bikinis, sleeveless t-shirts, and booty shorts. It’s …

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Hey, Guy!

Leslie Small, contributor As a woman who’s had a fair amount of odd jobs, the most adventurous by far has been selling speakers. Not in a store, but out of a van, to strangers we propositioned in parking lots or moving vehicles by yelling, “Hey, guy!” Obviously not the shining star of my resume, but hot damn was every day …

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Small Adventures

Leslie Small, contributor Most people think of adventures and picture Indiana Jones or that extreme friend who insists on hiking for every vacation like an asshole. (Seriously dude, what do you have against comfort?) I like to think of minor things simpler folks can do to live more adventurously every day! ·   Fill a couple Crystal Geyser bottles with vodka …

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The Future Of T.V.

Leslie Small, contributor The year is 2095. Comcast rules all. In the Great Cable War of 2032, which cost 500,000 human lives, the corporate juggernaut prevailed in the most historically significant American event since the attempted Twinkie discontinuation of 2012. Much like then, the people rose up to fight for the programming as they had for the sponge cakes of …

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Vincent Van Bro

Leslie Small, contributor I love bitches, and for a skinny ginger like me the quickest way into a broad’s pantaloons was with a paint brush. Metaphorically, of course; I wasn’t hacking my way in there or anything.Those brushes are expensive! But you tell some silly chicken she’d look dope immortalized forever in oil as a tribute to her eternal hotness …

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This Shit Doesn’t Exist but It Should, And I’d Pay For It!

Leslie Small, contributor 1. A tiny midget or well trained child to bum rush shitty customers in retail stores. It’s always some dick complaining about the length of time they had to wait or some such nonsense, and they’re awful. Enough people hit the red button and point at that bastard and out rolls the midget. 2. A public restroom …

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Whiskey Dickery

Leslie Small, contributor The scene is all too familiar: you in a dimly-lit room with your object of desire. Hanging in the air is the distinct scent of digested alcohol and impending bad decisions. Hands roaming eagerly in unbridled anticipation of kinky sex reserved for booze-filled nights and near-perfect strangers, you’re hoping shit’s going to get weird. Layers of clothing …

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A Cautionary Tale of Tolerance

Leslie Small, contributor I’m a woman with an almost superhuman ability to smoke weed. It’s a gift, really. People are often surprised by my tolerance, which I understand to an extent, considering I’m a petite woman. It’s a blessing and a curse; with great power comes great responsibility and this was an instance I learned that lesson. I had a …

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Lady Stoner Tips

Leslie Small, contributor As a fabulous woman who is also a card carrying cannabis user, I’ve found life to be fairly awesome, and I’d like to share some of those dank nugs of knowledge with others lacking the Y chromosome! Always get high off your own supply. Now, I know this is in direct violation of the 10 Crack Commandments, …

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